3966 - Saturday jokes

The pilot and co-pilot are sitting in the cockpit of an airplane.
As they wait for the passengers to board, the pilot says to the co-pilot,
“Why did you become a pilot?”
To which the co-pilot replies, “To overcome my greatest fear.”
“Flying?” the pilot asks
“No.” says the co-pilot, “Dying alone.”


If at first you don’t succeed.
Skydiving is not for you.


What's the best thing about having sex with amish girl?
They don’t expect you to call the next day.


An Indian walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand pulling a male buffalo with the other. He says to the waiter, "Want coffee."
The waiter says, "Sure chief, coming right up." He gets the Indian a tall mug of coffee. The Indian drinks the coffee down in one gulp, turns and blasts the buffalo with the shotgun, causing parts of the animal to splatter everywhere, then just walks out.
The next morning the Indian returns. He has his shotgun in one hand pulling another male buffalo with the other.  He walks up to the counter and says to the waiter, "Want coffee."
The waiter says, "Whoa, Tonto! We're still cleaning up your mess from yesterday. What was all that about, anyway?"
The Indian smiles and proudly says, "Training for upper management position: Come  in, drink coffee, shoot the bull, leave mess for others to clean up, disappear for rest of day.


A programmer and his colleagues attempt to enter a restaurant.
One of them approaches the receptionist:
"Table for 8, please"
"Are you sure, Mister?" she replied. "I can see there are actually 9 of you here"
"What? No, you're mistaken. We're 8 people, look"
He turns around, and begins doing a head count:
"0, 1, 2, 3..."


I hope I never meet Frank.
Every time someone tries to be Frank with me they tell me something I don’t want to hear.
He must be pretty unpleasant.


A woman can fake an orgasm for the sake of a relationship.
A man can fake a relationship for the sake of an orgasm.


No more menstrual jokes.
Period!


Did you know Nebraska has the highest level of depression and extra-marital activity?
It's a sad state of affairs.


I quit my job over religious differences.
My Boss thought he was a God, I didn’t.


Vodka isn't a liquid.
It’s a solution.