688 - Atomic cannon

Back in the good old days when most of us were trying not to get drafted and wind up as cannon fodder in Vietnam, we had a friend that was beating the system. He was staying in school. He got his BS. Then he got his masters. Then he was working on his PhD. PhD in what you say? Nuclear engineering. No kidding. Then the system caught up with him. He got drafted.

So what do you think the Army would do why a guy that was nearly finished with a PhD in nuclear engineering? What? No not that. What? No not that either. If you guessed infantry .... you were close. Actually the made him the string puller on a howitzer. So at least he wasn't on the front lines. Close, but not quite there.

And when he got out of the Army he told us an interesting fact. They have nuclear shells for the cannons in the army. Some fire 3 miles, some fire 5 miles. So maybe the method to the madness was hey here's a guy that knows about nuclear stuff. Let's put him on a cannon in case we decide to shoot off some nuclear rounds. Except that theory wouldn't have worked with him. One time he told us, "If they thought I would fire a nuclear bomb that was going to go off only 5 miles away from me, they were nuts. Was never going to happen."

If you're wondering what that might look like, take a look at what made me remember this story. BOOM.

687 - DTV

So I've got a DTV converter box on the TV in the kitchen. It does all the standard digital stuff. Digital drop out. Screen goes black and system has to resync. Digital looping where the same frame gets stuck in the buffer and keeps repeating for a few sec sec sec sec sec seconds.

Well I had a new twist today. Partial sound. The background sound was there; music, clinking glasses, cars, etc. The faces were on the screen. The lips were moving on the faces. But no voices were to be heard. What the hell is going on now?! My son and I are staring at this new phenomenon and he says "it's like we're listening to the side channels but the center channel isn't working". Which would have been a good assessment had the TV had more than one speaker.

Now what to do. Start through the menu/options of the converter box and see what got changed. There is a sound option. But it's for stereo or no stereo. And changing the option doesn't do anything. Next? Try the reset option. Hit that option and wait for all the channels to rescan and all the options to go back to factory default. Fixed? Nope.

Here comes the life lesson....... The one you learned early in your computer trick learning days........ Unplug the power from the little black converter box and plug it back in....... FIXED! What a piece of crap! Oh well. One more electronic piece of junk that has to be kicked back into the working state by a manual power surge.



Now that that's over with, Fiona ..... Bilbo ..... have you been to Rimas blog lately?

686 - Upgrade

So he says to himself, "What can it hurt? It's just a little addition to the blog!"

Google-Analytics. Get it, it's free. And easy. So I go to the GA website thinking it's a 'hit the button there you go' kind of upgrade. Nope. Sign in please. Fill out the information please. (you actually don't have to fill in the name and phone number boxes but they don't tell you that) All done? Nope. Copy this little diddy of code and paste it into your ....... now I forgot what that's thingy's called. NO not there. That comes later. TEMPLATE, that's what the thingy is.

So I cut and paste. Pleeeeeease don't mess up my blog page. GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! What the hell happened!!! All my spots are gone! The font's bigger! And is there supposed to be an icon or something? I would have thought there would seeing that they have THIS in their service agreement.

7. PRIVACY . You will not (and will not allow any third party to) use the Service to track or collect personally identifiable information of Internet users, nor will You (or will You allow any third party to) associate any data gathered from Your website(s) (or such third parties' website(s)) with any personally identifying information from any source as part of Your use (or such third parties' use) of the Service. You will have and abide by an appropriate privacy policy and will comply with all applicable laws relating to the collection of information from visitors to Your websites. You must post a privacy policy and that policy must provide notice of your use of a cookie that collects anonymous traffic data.

Does that sound like a bunch of lawyers wrote that or WHAT! The party of the first part shall not .... party of the eighth part referring to the party of the .... party 255 ... referring back to party of the original part.

And then they have you install some code and say 'I' must provide notice. Of a Google widget on a Google system. With no icon. Well here's the notification!

The rest of the 'agreement' is a hoot also. Let me sum it up for you. NOT OUR FAULT.

So the question is, does my blog look different to you?

685 - Jokes from the net

After I posted last night I was wandering around the net and found a few joke sites. Here's some of the tech jokes that I thought were kind of funny.

--------------------------

Most people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.


I talk on my cell phone all the time, so much I think it's ruined my social skills, like when I'm not even on the phone. I don't even say goodbye anymore. I end every conversation with 'I can't hear you.'


Q: What is the difference between sex and computers?
A: With computers, the software goes into the hardware.


(More computer humor)
486: The average IQ needed to understand a PC.
State-of-the-art: Any computer you can't afford.
Obsolete: Any computer you own.
Microsecond: The time it takes for your state-of-the-art computer to become obsolete.
G3: Apple's new Macs that make you say 'Gee, three times faster than the computer I bought for the same price a Microsecond ago.'
Syntax Error: Walking into a computer store and saying, "Hi, I want to buy a computer and money is no object."
Hard Drive: The sales technique employed by computer salesmen, esp. after a Syntax Error.
GUI: What your computer becomes after spilling your coffee on it.
Keyboard: The standard way to generate computer errors.
Mouse: An advanced input device to make computer errors easier to generate.
Floppy: The state of your wallet after purchasing a computer.
Portable Computer: A device invented to force people to work at home, on vacation, and on business trips.
Disk Crash: A typical computer response to any critical deadline.
Power User: Anyone who can format a disk from DOS.
System Update: A quick method of trashing ALL of your software.


A blond gets a new cell phone from her husband.
The next day she goes to Wal-mart and her phone rings, so she answers it.
It was her husband. He says, "How's the new cell phone?"
She replied, "Great...but how did you know I was at Wal-mart?"


That porno spam is bad stuff, boy, because I want to delete it, but it's almost like they have a chip in my head or something. Because I get these emails -- they're like: 'Do you like hot, young girls in thigh-high stockings?' Yeah. 'Do you have a credit card?' I sure do. 'Do you want to add three inches onto your penis?' Who's been reading my diary?


I found my girlfriend's vibrator. Oh my God -- it was the size of my arm. I was like, 'What are you doing when I'm not here?' She goes, 'Don't worry, I think about you when I use it.' I was like, 'What am I doing -- working the crane that lowers you onto it?'


(and then this one really makes a point)
I love text messaging (or blogging) because I love any form of one-sided non-verbal communication. I like to give people information, and then they've got to deal with it.

684 - Email jokes

Here's a few email jokes floating around right now.

-------------------------------------------

Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation.

Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. After a few seconds or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, 'Kin ya swallar?' The woman shakes her head no. Then he asks, 'Kin ya breathe?' The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no.

The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue. The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm and the obstruction flies out of her mouth. As she begins to breathe again, the Hillbilly walks slowly back to his table.

His partner says, 'Ya know, I'd heerd of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver' but I ain't niver seed nobody do it!'

--------------------------------------------

Sex In The Shower?

In a recent survey carried out for leading toiletries firm 'Brut', people from Chicago have proved to be the most likely to have had sex in the shower!

In the survey, 86% of Chicago's elite residents and government officials said that they have enjoyed sex in the shower.

The other 14% said they hadn't been to prison yet.

--------------------------------------------
(the parenthetical comments below came with the joke)

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping. (Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how???.....)

On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding - "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought????....)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time)?

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness..." (and...I'm taking this because???....)

On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what)?

On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (Oh my God...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

--------------------------------------------------
(parenthetical comment mine)

From comedian Steve Wright . . .

Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
A day without sunshine is like, night.
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
Honk if you love peace and quiet.
Remember, half the people you know are below average.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your week.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
Get a new car for your spouse. It'll be a great trade!
Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
Always try to be modest, and be proud of it!
If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand...
How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the hell happened.
Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now. (that's why God made cut and paste)

683 - Cartoons

Mike Peters has penned some good ones lately.

This point is one to the.



This could take awhile.



And zing him while you can. There's still a few shots left.

682 - Unregulated capitalism + other stuff

As you may or may not know Anheuser Busch was bought out by InBev. They promised to keep the world headquarters in St. Louis. They are now opening up a new office in New York with the promise "Oh no trust us. It's just a branch office".

I've also heard THIS about two different people here in St. Louis. InBev has laid off about 1000 people here. Two different sources have told me of people that have been laid off, being offered their same jobs back. As contractors with no benefits. Ahhh unregulated capitalism at it's best.


Oh and phone company benefits for retirees? Up again this year.


And would have sworn I blogged about my social security rant but a search of the blog turn up ... NOTHING. So here goes.

You know that print out you get from SS every year. Well last year I took those numbers and put them into a spreadsheet and figured this out. I'm supposed to get $1,xxx a month from SS. If all the money that I and the phone company have put into SS had been invested at just 5% it would be worth $300K+. The 1K+ that I'm supposed to get? It's 5% of the 300K that the government is supposed to be holding for me.

The only problem here is the 300K isn't there. We're driving on it on the highways. (raise the gas tax and get it back) We're shooting it at all the bad guys all over the world. (time to start charging for our mercenary actions) This list could go on and on. Bilbo, take over for me here. I'm running out of verbiage.


And finally, yesterday was a dead day for blogging. Other blogger's comment counts hardly moved at all and I had the lowest count I've had in a long time. Are people getting a LIFE or something??? That's just wrong!


And finally2 here's a blip from notalwaysright.

Clarity Is Key
GROCERY STORE | MICHIGAN, USA
Me: “Hi sir, how are you today? Is there something I can get for you?”

Customer: “Fish.”

Me: “Well, you sure came to the right place. What kind of fish would you like?”

Customer: “Dead fish.”

Me: “…”


See this is how it should work in blogging. Just wandering around sites finding stuff or rambling about silly sh*t.

681 - Flight 1549

Flight 1549 was brought down by a flock of geese. But what kind of geese you ask? You did ask didn't you? I knew you did. Well I've got the answer and it's as plain as the nose on your face.

Terrorist geese!!

680 - Let's get physical

Most guys go to hooters hoping to play with the girls. Sometimes the tables get turned.

HOOTERS GIRL

How high can you jump? Here's a video of me doing a modified high jump. I can do this anytime I want to. But I hate showing off.

HIGH JUMP

And then there is gymnastics. You know when you're watching the Olympics and the girl's on the balance beam and you wonder how they do that? Well sometimes they don't.

BEAM
.

679 - The Brain plus more

The plus more will be some more videos. The first installment of 'the brain' went over like a lead balloon. But since I had it all ready to go I'll just put the rest of it at the bottom of this post in case anybody is interested in reading the rest of the article.

I found an interesting video about fixing your own flat screen TV. It's a highly technical video so pay real close attention. TV FIX

This is for John and his magical life. It's about bigger than life size illusions. SEE THEM


Now parts 2+ of The Brain.

Supersenses
IQ
The Rest
.
.

678 - The Brain p1

So much for B&B. (not bed and breakfast) Now I'm going to bore you to death with and article from New Scientist about the brain. Something our last president didn't ha.... oh wait, we're not supposed to pick on him anymore are we? I'll stop as soon as my 401K comes back up. Anyway, here's a couple of days coming up about the brain.

BRAIN - PART 1 - language
.
.

677 - Comments

When your comments disappear.
Did you not post right?
Did the machine eat it?
Did you get deleted?

I ask this because one disappeared yesterday. I didn't think it was that snarky. But sometimes when your typing, the words are going on the page in a really funny way, but may not seem so to the person reading them. I saw a comedian the other day (youtube???) that said someone should come up with some new fonts like - sarcastica, etc. That way when someone saw the font they would just know the mood being conveyed.

And then the worst part of getting old is this. You go back to check the site for new comments and sit there with a blank stare. You say to yourself I swear I put a comment here. At least I think I did. So it's back to reading the whole post again hoping to jog your memory to try and remember what you wrote. Sometimes it comes back sometimes it doesn't.

And it always seems to be the long comments that disappear. I don't know which is worse. Going back and seeing that the comment is gone or having it disappear in front of your eyes. With the "I'm sorry blogger has encountered a problem. Please try again'. ARGGGGG So you copy your comments for awhile so as not to have to type them all over again until blogger lulls you into a false sense of security. Then poof, GOTCHA!


This blogging stuff is getting kind of intense. Maybe I should go back to work. I think I found a job I could really get into. NEW JOB

676 - Ascent of Money

This is a new PBS program that's a 'must watch' for everyone in the world. It's by a British journalist mainly about the US market collapse but it covers stock market trends from the 1700's on, over the whole world. Since it's by a Brit it doesn't have an American media spin to it.

It's two hours long. So the best thing to do is check your local PBS station and see when it's going to rerun. I watched it Saturday night ... I mean Sunday morning from 1 am to 3 am.

But you can also watch it on the PC if you want to. You can blow it up full screen, sit back with your drink, and get pissed off at the greedy bastard money people of the world. The video downloads in segments so once you start it, it auto forwards to the next segment.

ASCENT OF MONEY
.
.
(this downloaded really quickly on my new 6 meg line - BWAHAHAHAHA)
.

675 - upgrade

After a few phone calls I actually do have an upgrade. ........ Oh, you want to know what's upgraded? ..... Well aren't you nosy. But with me being the rub it in your face kind of guy I'll tell you. My dsl line is now upgraded from 3meg to 6meg. Well actually 5.044 since nothing runs at it's advertised speed. But it's still double what I was running before. Now when my son is downloading half the internet I may be able to access something faster than dialup.

674 - Cartoon

Punny stuff today. Punny but true.



Mike Peters

673 - Making a living

That's making a living out of stealing videos. Just when I think I've seen them all, new one's start popping up. And some of them are relevant. Take Bilbo's latest post on being a good citizen. This is who you are protecting.

PATRIOT VIDEO
VOTER VIDEO


And then there was Fiona's double dipping.

GERM VIDEO


Throw another one in? OK

THE TRUTH VIDEO (wiggle wiggle)

672 - Wiley MPs

No not the Military Police.
No not Members of Parliament.

It's Mike Peters. Were running out of time to pick on Bush. Here's some last minute pokes.









And Wiley.

671 - MORE?

I wasn't going to do video's again this soon...... Who am I kidding, sure I was. Especially the first one. It goes along with post 669. It's a visual on how your brain can trick you as to what you are seeing. I'll tell you what going on so you don't give up on it. It's about a minute. Just follow the directions which tell you to stare at the dot. That will get your eyes fixed on a subliminal rainbow. Then a black and white scene will come up but it will look like it's in color. The less you move your eyes the longer the false color will stay.

RAINBOW VIDEO

And then to start your day off right here's a video (1 min) of some contagious laughter. Two news anchors get tickled and can't stop laughing. You have to laugh with them.

LAUGHING VIDEO
.
.

670 - They keep comin'

The video's just keep coming.

Picture Bilbo sitting at his government desk with THIS capability.

Picture John entertaining people like THIS.

Picture Fiona doing THIS.

669 - Magic eyes

Are the hands quicker than the eyes? Or do the eyes just not work right? If John would have found this he probably would have posted it but I know he doesn't have time. Right? He's a busy guy. Or maybe he wouldn't want you to know this.

Click on each image to make them more readable. Unless you have 5/20 vision.









This is also my monthly alert that today is Friday the 13th. Nothing special about it being on a Tuesday so you can relax.

668 - More videos

As long as I've got a video theme going here I'll throw some more at you.

Here's a short one with some awesome acrobatics.

Here's an even shorter one that looks like fun. I challenge someone to duplicate it.

And finally, here's one that's a little longer (5min). And I don't think anyone could practice enough for the rest of their lives to do this. I don't think she IS doing this. It's a trick!

667 - Wall hike

Not a lot to say today. Just a video for you to watch. But to get the full effect of this, put your face as close as you can to the screen and still be able to focus. I don't want you to miss one step of this.

Don't look down.

666 - The devils in the details

What's in a number. We'll find out here in post 666. First let me refer you back to post 555. Now that I have you captivated, let's go on to 666.

Wikipedia says the evolution of our modern glyph for 6 appears rather simple when compared with that for the other numerals. Our modern 6 can be traced back to the Brahmins of India, who wrote it in one stroke like a cursive lowercase e rotated 90 degrees clockwise.



WHAT!!!!! That not what my post 126 says! I like post 126 better.

Wikipedia says six is the second smallest composite number, its proper divisors being 1, 2 and 3. Since six equals the sum of these proper divisors, six is a perfect number.

So how can 666 be a bad number? Well think about it. 2 x 3 = 6. And that's good. But 222 x 333 = 666 and that's bad because there are a lot of other numbers missing. Where did they go? The devil took most of them. That's why it's the number of the beast. Well for Christians anyway. If your Chinese 6 is a lucky number so by default 666 is lucky times 3 (or times some other number).

Then there's your common Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia. This would come into play in bowling a lot. Picture five guys bowling and around the 6th or 7th frame the teams total score is suddenly 666. OH MY GOD! SOMEBODY THROW A BALL! QUICK! BEFORE SOMEBODY SEE'S 666 AND WE ALL DIE! You didn't know bowling could be so exciting did you?

But if you want to know about the end of the world, this conspiracy guy has put it all together for you. Or you can go here because this guy has a new doomsday date picked out. Dec 27th 2012. You'll have to buy the book to find out why. Better hurry. There's less than three years left to find out. (I need to write a book. About anything.)
.

665 - The late night crowd

Remember the link to Late Night Political Jokes? Sure you do. Well if you don't, here's some of the jokes I think are some of the better ones from the last few days.



"The United States Army announced that they will accept overweight recruits. So now when a soldier is AWOL, it means he's 'at Wendy's ordering lunch'." --David Letterman

"You know that you're an overweight recruit in the Army when you see a Domino's guy crawl into your foxhole." --David Letterman

"You know, President Bush keeps giving interviews about his eight years as president. Earlier this week, he said his greatest accomplishment ... was his effort to privatize Social Security, even though he never actually did it. That's President Bush. Isn't it? Your greatest accomplishment? Well, there aren't any. But if there were, by golly, here's what it would be." --Jay Leno

"The Secret Service has unveiled a new state-of-the-art limousine for Barack Obama. A million dollars for this state-art-limousine. Meanwhile, today, John McCain closed a deal on a used LeSabre. But the limousine is massive. It's a three ton, it's a tank-like vehicle, or, as GM calls it, it's a compact." --David Letterman

"Hey, did you see this in the paper? In an interview with the Washington Times, Vice President Dick Cheney said he is not a big fan of rap music. You could have knocked me over with a feather. I was stunned by that. Actually, I'm surprised. I mean, look at the guy. He gets driven around in a limo, surrounded by bodyguards, shot a guy in the face -- he IS a rap star." --Jay Leno

"I love this part. He (Burris) was turned away because they said he didn't meet the high standards of the Senate. Gee. I wonder which senator turned him down. Do you think it was the one who embezzled the money? Maybe it was the one that got caught with the hooker? I know, I'll bet it was the one caught fornicating near the urinal in the airport bathroom. That was the one, exactly." --Jay Leno

"Earlier today, Barack Obama's daughters started at their new school in Washington, DC. Yeah, their teachers are really impressed and said that both girls are already reading well above President Bush level." --Conan O'Brien

"And Congress says this week they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. So the guy that made $50 billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $750 billion disappear." --Jay Leno

And I found this boob video. It only sets the womens movement back about 10 years. Not too bad.

664 - And that's how the fight started.....

1: When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive ..... so, I took her to a gas station.

And that's how the fight started....

2: I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.

And that's how the fight started....

3: After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office. She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too'.

And that's how the fight started.....

4: My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asked, 'Do you know her?' 'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'

And that's how the fight started.....

5: I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... he was a DWARF!!! He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!!!'
So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'

And that's how the fight started.....

6: I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. 'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.' He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?' 'Nah, she can order for herself.'

And that's how the fight started.....

663 - Bandit is wining

Bandit's sent me a few things and has been wining about me not using them for posts. He says some of them are important and need to get out there in post land.

Here's one reason why. There is a New Wine for Seniors.



California vintners in the Napa Valley area, which primarily produce Pinot Blanc, Pinot Noir and Pinot Grigio wines, have developed a new hybrid grape that acts as an anti-diuretic. It is expected to reduce the number of trips older people have to make to the bathroom during the night.

The new wine will be marketed as...


PINO MORE

Bandit heard it through the grapevine.

662 - Book search

Google's book search has a good start. And it's not just books. They're doing magazines also. Here's an example, it's Popular Science. I used to get this magazine but have since dropped my subscription. I also finally threw out all the old ones I had been keeping. Now, if I want to refer back to something, it's ONLINE!

I still like reading a book or magazine rather than a computer screen.

And I was sitting here wondering what to blog about tonight when an email showed up with this link in it about 25 minutes ago.

661 - English simplicity

So let's take a simple word like 'lay'. You would think the past participle would be 'layed'. Nope. No such word. You would think even further that a spell checker would know what you meant. Nope. How about 'clayed, played, flayed, rayed or payed"? No thanks. I was a bad speller to begin with. I think spell checkers are making me worse.

But back to getting layed. Like I said you can't get layed because it doesn't exist. And even dictionary.com doesn't want to guess what you're trying to say. The correct answer is the 38th guess for what you where trying to say. (And as I'm typing this I'm noticing 'say' and 'said'.)

So now you guessed. I'm trying to get 'laid'. Well after I did figure that out I double checked dictionary.com. When you look at this, think about this being the first word that somebody that was going learn when learning English. Go here to get 'laid'. (Yes that definition is there. It's number 58)

660 - Compromising fun

This isn't just how government works. This is pretty much how life works. It's all a compromise.

And then sometimes work can be fun. Even if you have to work at it. I can't imagine how long it took to set this up.

Did you think this post was going to be about something else? Later.....

659 - Politics and math

The first one made me think of Bilbo. The second one Amanda AND Bilbo.



Baby Blues
.

658 - Galileo and the church

Here's a few lines from the article about how the Catholic church is finally trying to admit that Galileo might have been right.

**********************
The church denounced Galileo's theory as dangerous to the faith, but Galileo defied its warnings. Tried as a heretic in 1633 and forced to recant, he was sentenced to life imprisonment, later changed to house arrest.
**********************

Here's the whole article. The church better be careful. Somebody from the church might actually admit that the earth is round!
.

657 - In the news

Maybe this is why the Cubs have so much trouble.



And we know this Cub's fan is in trouble for trying to sell something similar to this.