5525 - IT jokes - 2 of 2

Facebook should have a limit on the number of times you can update your relationship status, after 3 it should default to 'unstable'.

"I was showing my kids an old rotary phone when my nine-year-old asked, “How did you text on it?” My 15-year-old daughter roared with laughter, until a thought occurred to her: “Wait, where did you store your contacts?”

How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None, because it is a hardware problem.

"I’m at the library, and for some reason, when I plug my flash drive into the computer, it doesn’t show up. I keep trying, but nothing happens. As an IT major, I know I can figure this out. So I spend 15 minutes changing settings and inserting and removing the flash drive. Then a girl sitting next to me taps my shoulder and says, “You’re plugging into my computer, not yours.”

Can't see an end. I have no control and I don't think there's an escape. I don't even have a home anymore. Think it's time for a new keyboard.

We'll we'll we'll... If it isn't autocorrect.

How many types of people are there in the world?
There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary and those who do not.

CAPS LOCK – Preventing logins since 1980.

Any room is a panic room if you've lost your phone in it.

Person 1: Do you know how to use Outlook?
Person 2: As a matter of fact, I Excel at it.
Person 1: Was that a Microsoft Office pun?
Person 2: Word.

I'm changing my name to 'Benefits' on Facebook. Next time someone adds me, It will say "you are now friends with Benefits."

Thanks to autocorrect, 1 in 5 children will be getting a visit from Satan this Christmas.

The only people who don’t click Skip on ads before YouTube videos are people who died during that ad.

Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.

"My husband and I are both in an Internet business, but he's the one who truly lives, eats, and breathes computers. I finally realized how bad it had gotten when I was scratching his back one day. "No, not there," he directed. "Scroll down."

I can still remember a time when I knew more than my phone.

My password is the last 16 digits of Pi.

Recording on an Australian tax helpline. - "If you understand English, press 1. If you do not understand English, press 2." 

I changed my password to "incorrect". So whenever I forget what it is the computer will say "Your password is incorrect".

Hell is wallpapered with all your deleted selfies.

It's ok computer, I go to sleep after 20 minutes of inactivity too.

Mom: How make chicken.
Daughter: What?
Mom: Where buy chicken.
Daughter: Mom, this isn’t Google.
Mom: Avocado.

What made the Java developers wear glasses?
They can't C.

I put more effort into naming my first Wi-Fi than my first child.

I just got fired from my job at the keyboard factory. They told me I wasn't putting in enough shifts.

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