6626 - Saturday jokes

What's your plan for Valentines day?

I will be spending it outside nice restaurants shouting, "WELL. YOU MOVED ON PRETTY QUICKLY!" to random couples walking in. (Debra) 

Them: We're disgusted by the amount of hate Pam Bondi is getting at the moment.

Us: It's nowhere near enough, we can do better.

My body came with a lot of terms and conditions I did not agree to.

It would be nice if all the people wearing "Don't Tread On Me" shirts stopped treading on everyone else, wouldn't it? (Bilbo)

My children watched the halftime show. Now they're gay AND Puerto Rican! Darn you Bad Bunny!

12% of Americans believe Noah of Noah's Ark is married to Joan of Arc. (They must be the core of the MAGAt movement.)

Funny how the US voting system worked well for 44 presidents and suddenly went bad when tRUMP lost an election.

Doctors discover a new link between rising measles cases among children and their parents being gullible morons.

Let's have illegal immigrants hunt down sex offenders for a chance at citizenship. We'll call it aliens vs predators.

Last week my wife put together an earthquake plan. She and the kids are supposed to stand together in a doorway. I'm supposed to go in the front hall and stand under the chandelier. 

I can't believe people are comparing tRUMP to Satan. Yes, he's evil, but he's certainly not as evil as tRUMP.

Someone stole the P from Pirate.

Was he mad?

He was irate!

I’m staying home today. I have mood poisoning. (Bilbo)

U C D E D B D DUCKS? 

M R NOT DUCKS. 

O S A R DUCKS. C D E D B D WINGS? 

L I L B M R DUCKS.

I have a large seashell collection, which I keep scattered on beaches all over the world.

If you're paddling upstream in a canoe, and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes fit in a dog house?

Purple! Ice cream doesn't have bones!

An unfortunate fellow named Clyde

fell into an outhouse and died.

By mischance, his brother

had fell down another.

And now they're in turd side-by-side.

A flea and a fly in a flue

Were imprisoned, so what could they do?

Said the fly, "Let us flee!"

"Let us fly!" said the flea.

So they flew through a flaw in the flue.

I once had a wooden whistle, but it wooden whistle.

Next I got a lead whistle, but it wooden lead me whistle.

Then I got a steel whistle, but it steel wooden lead me whistle.

So I got a tin whistle. And now I tin whistle.

Two little boys were pissing behind the barn and one said,  "I wish I had a big one like my big brother.  He holds his with four fingers."

Said the second little boy, "But you're holding yours with four fingers."

"Sure, "said the first boy, "but I'm pissing on three of them."

"Well, well," said Dr. Bigbill, as he met a former patient on the street, "I'm glad to see you again, Mr. Brown.  How are you this morning?"

"First, Doctor," said Mr. Brown cautiously,  "does it cost anything to tell you?"

A farm girl brought a bull to a pasture in order that it might service the cow there. 

The farm boy in charge of the cow joined her and they watched the process.

After a while, the farm boy turned to the farm girl and said, "That just makes me itch to do the same thing. How about it?"

And the farm girl said, "Go ahead. It's your cow."

6625 - Thursday trees

This is an all Bilbo day.

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6624 - Show me the statute

Sometimes there's some good stuff on the internet...

1. He spent 18 years in administrative law and said citizens panic because they think every letter is an order. He wrote down one sentence: “Please provide the legal basis for this request, including the specific statute and clause that obligates my response.” That single line turns compliance into hesitation, because the burden flips back to them.

2. Offices survive on procedure, not speed. When asked for the statute and clause, the whole process halts until legality is verified. Most letters rely on habit, not law, so internal teams scramble through archives before answering, exposing how much of bureaucracy runs on assumption.

3. A family once got a “submit in 5 days” notice. They sent that sentence. The reply came 46 days later, and the demand vanished. Time pressure dissolved when legality had to be proven. The lawyer said it’s not rebellion, it’s precision — and systems freeze under it.

4. A small business faced a fine for missing “updated records.” Same method, same outcome. The agency paused penalties because no clause backed the demand. Inside offices, people fear signing off without a statute number; that fear is your shield.

5. His closing line stayed with me: bureaucracy eats those who rush, but it stalls before those who request proof. What slows the machine isn’t emotion, it’s paperwork logic you can trigger with one calm question.

Most citizens fear government letters — but the system collapses the moment you ask it to justify itself.

6623 - Property defense

This is a really long story. But once you get into it, you learn how to skip over the nonessential parts. It's basically how to protect your property from someone trying to prove you're too incompetent to manage your own affairs.

https://america-focus.com/retirement-property-defense-how-one-man-protected-his-mountain-cabin-investment-and-family-legacy-through-strategic-legal-planning/

6622 - American Bar Association and tRUMP

This is from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_Bar_Association .

2025 federal lawsuit and member targeting by the Trump administration

Main article: Targeting of law firms and lawyers under the second Trump administration

In 2025, the ABA, as well as some members of the organization, became targets of the Trump administration. On February 11, with tens of millions of dollars in its USAID and U.S. State Department funding frozen^[18] by Executive Order 14169, issued on Trump's first day following re-election,^[19] the ABA and other plaintiffs filed a lawsuit which asserts that the administration's actions were arbitrary and a capricious violation of the Administrative Procedure Act.^[18] The case, Global Health Council v. Trump, was filed in the U.S. District Court for the District of Columbia and assigned to Judge Amir Ali. Two days later he issued a temporary restraining order, allowing some foreign assistance programs to resume.^[19]

On February 14, Federal Trade Commission chair Andrew N. Ferguson ordered his roster of political appointees not to renew memberships in the ABA, hold any ABA position, or attend any ABA events.^[20][21]

Following a February 25, 2025, memo revoking security clearances for the law firm that had assisted Special Counsel Jack Smith by the president, on February 28, Attorney General Pam Bondi sent a letter to the ABA saying that the diversity requirements of Standard 206 of the Standards of Rules and Procedure for Approval of Law Schools conflicts with Chief Justice John Roberts' 2023 decision that affirmative action in college admissions is unconstitutional under the Equal Protection Clause of the Fourteenth Amendment, in Students for Fair Admissions v. Harvard,^[22][23] and violates civil law,^[22][21] while threatening to rescind ABA accreditation authority of U.S. law schools.^[24]

The ABA released a statement on March 3, 2025, encouraging members to challenge Trump's actions that it perceives to undermine the courts and the legal profession, with more than 50 smaller bar associations joining the call for solidarity.^[25][26] While the ABA strongly condemned the Trump administration's actions;^[27] on March 25, Reuters reported that "President Donald Trump expanded his attacks on major U.S. law firms" in issuing his fourth executive order targeting a law firm in two months.^[28]

On June 16, 2025, Susman Godfrey, an EO-targeted firm that subsequently prevailed in court,^[7] filed a lawsuit on behalf of the ABA alleging that executive orders issued against law firms, and other actions, reflect a "law firm intimidation policy" of the Trump administration, which aims "to intimidate and coerce law firms and lawyers to refrain from challenging the President or his Administration in court, or from even speaking publicly in support of policies or causes that the President does not like."^[29] The ABA issued a statement, in which President Bay said, "There has never been a more urgent time for the ABA to defend its members, our profession and the rule of law itself".^[7] On August 11, 2025, the ABA adopted a resolution in opposition to White House efforts designed to punish "lawyers, law firms, or other organizations for representing or having represented any particular client or cause disfavored by the government."^[30]