6393 - Can tRUMP turn into a Putin?

Do we have to worry about a Putin wannabe taking over the US?

https://www.pbs.org/newshour/show/february-17-2025-pbs-news-hour-full-episode 

Go to 16:20. The segment runs to 23:30.

6392 - Snow and eggs

Snowmageddon #2 is on its way. 2" to 12+" depending on the drift of the front. Supposed to start Tuesday night and snow all day Wednesday. That's after a brief shot of snow today. 

I was at the store last night and looked at the price of eggs here. There were plenty in stock at different prices. A carton of 18 was $13.50 unless you were a rewards member and then it was $9.00. Our carton of eggs in our refrigerator is still half full after 6+ months. Eggs are too much work for me. Because then you have to make bacon and the cleanup isn't worth it.

6391 - Long joke Sunday

As a joke, my brother used to hang a pair of pantyhose over his fireplace at Christmas.

He said all he wanted was for Santa to fill them. What they say about Santa checking the list twice must be true because every Christmas morning, although Jay’s kids’ stockings were overflowed, his poor pantyhose hung sadly empty.

One year I decided to make his dream come true. I put on sunglasses and went in search of an inflatable love doll. They don’t sell those things at Wal-Mart. I had to go to an adult bookstore downtown.

If you’ve never been in an X-rated store, don’t go. You’ll only confuse yourself. I was there an hour saying things like, “What does this do?” “You’re kidding me!” “Who would buy that?” 

Finally, I made it to the inflatable doll section. I wanted to buy a standard, uncomplicated doll. One that could also substitute as a passenger in my truck so I could use the carpool lane during rush hour.

Finding what I wanted was difficult. Love dolls come in many different models. The top of the line, according to the side of the box, could do things I’d only seen in a book on animal husbandry.

I settled for ‘Lovable Louise.” She was at the bottom of the price scale. To call Louise a “doll” took a huge leap of imagination.

On Christmas Eve, with the help of an old bicycle pump, Louise came to life. My sister-in-law was in on the plan and let me in during the wee morning hours, long after Santa had come and gone, I filled the dangling pantyhose with Louise’s pliant legs and bottom. I also ate some cookies and drank what remained of a glass of milk on a nearby tray. I went home and giggled for a couple of hours.

The next morning my brother called to say that Santa had been to his house and left a present that had made him VERY happy but had left the dog confused. She would bark, start to walk away, then come back and bark some more.

We all agreed that Louise should remain in her pantyhose so the rest of the family could admire her when they came over for the traditional Christmas dinner.

My grandmother noticed Louise the moment she walked in the door.

“What the hell is that?” she asked.

My brother quickly explained, “It’s a doll.”

“Who would play with something like that?” Granny snapped. I had several candidates in mind but kept my mouth shut.

“Where are her clothes?” Granny continued.

“Boy, that turkey sure smells nice, Gran,” Jay said, trying to steer her into the dining room. But Granny was relentless.

“Why doesn’t she have any teeth?”

Again, I could have answered, but why would I? It was Christmas and no one wanted to ride in the back of the ambulance saying, ”Hang on Granny! Hang on!”

My grandfather, a delightful old man with poor eyesight, sidled up to me and said, ” Hey, who’s the naked gal by the fireplace?”

I told him she was Jay’s friend.

A few minutes later I noticed Grandpa by the mantel, talking to Louise. Not just talking, but actually flirting. It was then that we realized this might be Grandpa’s last Christmas at home.

The dinner went well. We made the usual small talk about who had died, who was dying, and who should be killed, when suddenly Louise made a noise that sounded a lot like my father in the bathroom in the morning. Then she lurched from the pantyhose, flew around the room twice, and fell in a heap in front of the sofa.

The dog screamed. I passed cranberry sauce through my nose, and Grandpa ran across the room, fell to his knees, and began administering mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. My brother fell back over his chair and wet his pants. Granny threw down her napkin, stomped out of the room, and sat in the car.

It was indeed a Christmas to treasure and remember

Later in my brother’s garage, we conducted a thorough examination and found the cause of Louise’s collapse. We discovered that Louise had suffered from a hot ember to the back of her right thigh. Fortunately, thanks to a wonder drug called gorilla tape, we restored her to perfect health.

Louise went on to star in several bachelor party movies. I think Grandpa still calls her whenever he can get out of the house.

6390 - Saturday jokes

Deja Poo - The feeling of having heard this crap before.

Joe Apple: Johnny Apple, what happened to your eye.

Johnny: I got punched by a cabbage salad.

Joe: You fought the slaw?

Johnny: And the slaw won.

I finally got to see my doctor on Monday and I showed him the rash on my bottom. But he just ignored me and kept pushing his cart through Costco.

I looked up opaque, but the definition wasn’t very clear.

I spent my Valentine's Day at a nice restaurant shouting, "Well you moved on pretty quickly", to random couples walking in.

The square root of 69 is 8 something.

I finally know why they call me a grown-up.

I groan every time I get up.

My mom always told me, "You might not be the dumbest guy in the world, but you better hope he doesn't die".

Just because deodorant says 48 hours, doesn't mean you should accept the challenge.

I was getting most of my clothes online, but my neighbors have started taking their laundry in at night.

Him: I love you 10 times more than you love me.

Her: 10 times 0 is 0.

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your card.

During my funeral, someone take my phone and text everyone a solid black picture and say damn it sure is dark in here.

Just went to the Oreo website and hit "accept all cookies".

And now I wait...

I went to my doctor yesterday with a suspicious-looking mole. She said they all look like that and I should just put him back in the garden.

I told my doctor that I break out every time I eat strawberries and asked whether he could help. He said that he hated to make rash promises!

I’m just itchin’ to set up an appointment.

Apparently, Elon is upset that folks have started calling Teslas swasticars. 

So whatever you do don't share this.

We're having our HVAC system replaced today for something more powerful and yet at the same time more efficient, and what that means for me is that there are strangers in my house and I have to wear pants.

I think it's so cute how all of our names will be on the same watchlist.

I'm gonna see if this political climate turns into a Civil War before I bother to make another car payment.

I don't have a lot of money, but I do have enough to buy my Trump-supporting-neighbors' kid a slide whistle.

And, lo, the people were offered a choice: human rights and dignity, or cheaper eggs.

And, lo, the people chose eggs.

And, lo, a plague descended upon the chickens.

And, lo, the people blamed DEI.

I love being me.

It pisses off all the right people.

Do female terrorists get 72 male virgins after they die?

72 male virgins isn't paradise, it's an IT department.

Them: "Why are you so worried now?"

Me: "Because I paid attention in history class."

My co-worker said, "You should never eat donuts for breakfast!” to me today. I told her, "My Grandmother lived to be 100 years old." She asked, "Did she eat donuts for breakfast?” I said, "No she minded her own business."

A photographer was setting up for a large group picture when a lump of cheddar hit him and killed him. 

In the group's defense, they did try to warn him.

There are two types of tRUMP supporters, billionaires and idiots.

Check your bank account to see which one you are.

Believing that billionaires are fighting for the working class requires a comical level of delusion.

Author R. Kennedy's book...

How to avoid vaccines and die like a medieval peasant.

Scientists say, that one day, it may be possible to live on Mars.

What a load of crap.

I tried it for a month, gained nearly 30 pounds in weight, and developed type 2 diabetes.

Despite my grades of A, B, B, and A, I can't find an employer to take a chance on me.

50% of homeowning is hearing strange noises and hoping they are made by ghosts because you can't afford to fix them.

I found out that saying, "There there little girl", to a pissed-off grown man only makes things worse.

Live so that if your life was turned into a book, Florida would ban it.

But it was assigned Gulf of Mexico at birth!

6389 - tRUMP 2.0 and farmers

My daughter sent me this substack article about what US farmers are already going through and what more is coming.

https://farmergeorgiewrites.substack.com/p/the-devastating-impact-of-trump-20