6355 - Saturday jokes

Space alien: Take me to your leader.

Earthling: You've sort of come at a bad time. (Bilbo)

MAGA: Yay, Trump's cutting off freeloaders!!

ALSO MAGA: Hey why is my food stamp card not working!?

I'm trying to see things from your perspective, but I just can't make myself that dumb.

I bought a second hand time machine next Sunday. 

They don't make them like they're going to anymore.

In a surprising trend, MAGA supporters are demolishing the East side of their houses.

Had an elderly boss who got scammed out of $5000 in a "your mac is infected" call. I told her it was a scam and reported it to Chase credit. That night, she called the scammer, angry. "I'm sorry". he said. "I'll refund you! What's your debit card info?"

Guess what she did...

Going to bed the other night, I saw people stealing from my shed.

I called the police, they said no one was available.

So I called back a minute later.

"No need to hurry now, I shot them".

Within minutes, half a dozen cop cars, helicopters, and an armed unit showed up and caught the thieves.

Officer: "I thought you said you shot them!"

Me: "I thought you said no one was available".

Never trust a person who doesn't like dogs. 

But always trust a dog that doesn't like a person.

Coffee mug saying...

I am a ray of fucking sunshine.

I was gonna start dieting, but Halloween is coming up, then Thanksgiving, and Christmas. Before you know it, it's BBQ season again and I'm not about to turn down a cheeseburger.

My Girlfriend yelled at me, "Stop it with all your corny jokes!"

I said, "What are you gonna do, call the crops?"

After Tarzan and Jane have gotten to know each other for a while, they finally decide to become intimate. Tarzan has never been with a woman before, so Jane asks him what he normally does when he has... Urges. "Tarzan find tree with hole." "Well, just do to me what you do to the hole in the tree." Tarzan gives a grunt of understanding, and Jane lies down, closes her eyes and opens her legs. Then, out of nowhere, Tarzan delivers a devastating punt to her crotch. "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!?" "TARZAN CHECK FOR BEES."

Tim decided to tie the knot with his long-time girlfriend. One evening, after the honeymoon, he was out in the garage organizing his golfing equipment. His wife came to the door and after a long period of silence, she said, “Tim, I've been thinking, now that we're married, maybe it's time you quit golfing. You spend so much time on the course. I’m sure you could probably get a good price for your clubs.” Tim got a horrified look on his face. His wife said, “Darling, what's wrong?” Tim shook his head and said, “For a minute there, you started to sound like my ex-wife.” “Ex-wife!” she screamed, “I didn't know you were married before!” He gave her a pointed look and said, “I wasn't.”

A man and wife were sitting in their easy chairs... she was watching TV and he was reading.... she said, "Sam, if I died, do you think you would get married again?" He didn't drop his paper and replied, "Oh, I don't know... maybe, I guess..."

She was taken aback. "What? You'd actually marry another woman after me?!"

"I guess -- I don't know..."

"Well, would you give her my golf clubs, too?"

"No, she's left-handed."

When do flowers get their workouts in?

Spring training.

What time does everyone love to drink?

Wine o'clock.

What did police have to do when 500 hares got loose downtown?

They had to comb the area.

Why do cows go to New York City?

To see the moo-sicals.

A bear that got wet from a light rain is called what?

A drizzly bear.

Where do dads store their dad jokes?

In the dad-a-base.

What do you call Dracula with hay fever?

The pollen Count.

Where do sports teams go to buy new uniforms?

New Jersey.

What do you call an enlisted man who loves to cook?

A grill sergeant.

I just got my electricity bill and I think there's been a mistake. I believe they've charged me for the sunlight, the moonlight, the street light, the light of my life, the speed of light, the light fantastic, and the light at the end of the tunnel. (Bilbo)

A dog will love you more than any person. 

But they’ll also steal your sandwich.

#ANALBUMCOVER

I read it wrong too, that's why we're friends.

I met my friend’s new girlfriend. The white coverall suit, helmet, and the smell of honey was enough for me to tell him she was a keeper.

My friend Bob went skydiving. He misunderstood and brought a pair of shoes.

I'll miss Bob. (Think about it, I had too.)

I’m collecting my thoughts. I almost have a full set. (Bilbo)

Facebook has taught me a couple of things. First, there are some incredibly brilliant people in the world. Second, they are vastly outnumbered.

No parent ever turned the car around.

It was an empty threat that we all fell for.

I'm not saying I'm old, but I remember when "hashtags" were called pound signs. (I still call them that.)

Bruce Lee had a brother who was always precise. His name is Exact Lee.

Had a real good fighting brother named Brutal Lee.

Jehovah's Witnesses don't celebrate Halloween. I guess they don't appreciate random people coming up to their door.

Running is a great way to meet new people. Today, I met two EMTs, three nurses, and a cardiologist.

My fondest childhood memory is thinking $100 was a lot of money.

Do you realize that if you are sitting on the toilet at 11:59 PM, and the clock strikes midnight - It's the same crap, different day.

Having kids makes you realize how dumb your lies used to sound to your parents.

You know you`re getting old when speed limits start to seem reasonable to you.

My body isn't a temple. It's a haunted house. It needs a lot of work, makes mysterious creaking sounds, and contains the spirit of a creepy old man that's always mad about something.

I think my house is haunted by the ghost of a chicken. It's a poultrygeist. A fowl spirit. I'm going to call an eggsorcist, to help it cross to the other side.

The day when I can yell, “Where is my phone?” and it yells back, “Down here in the couch!” Then it will really be a smartphone.

Raisin cookies that look like chocolate chip cookies are the main reason I have trust issues.

I might wake up early and go for a jog. I may also win the lottery. Odds are about the same.

A bill collector called me saying, "Your bill is now a year old." I said, "Tell it Happy Birthday," and hung up.

I Googled "Who gives a crap?"

My name wasn't in the search results.

(But https://us.whogivesacrap.org does apparently give a crap.)

6354 - Thursday trees

Bilbo and John are starting to send me some trees.

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

10

11

12

13

14

15

16

17

18

19

20

6353 - CTE Risk

Football Players Show Subtle Brain Differences Linked to CTE Risk

https://neurosciencenews.com/football-brain-cte-29870/

Summary: Brain scans of former football players revealed subtle differences in brain grooves compared to men who never played contact sports, possibly marking early signs of chronic traumatic encephalopathy (CTE). Researchers found that players had shallower grooves in a key frontal region previously associated with CTE and that years of play correlated with structural changes in another area of the brain.

These findings mirror postmortem patterns seen in confirmed CTE cases, suggesting the potential for future early detection in living individuals. While more research is needed, the study represents a promising step toward identifying biomarkers for a disease that currently can only be diagnosed after death.

Key Facts

Structural Differences: Football players had shallower left frontal grooves linked to regions affected in CTE.

Experience Connection: Longer playing history was tied to changes in other brain grooves, showing a dose-response effect.

Biomarker Potential: These MRI-detected differences could one day help identify individuals at risk for CTE while still alive.

Questions

Q: What structural brain changes were found in football players?

A: Researchers observed shallower grooves in the left superior frontal region and wider grooves in another area, suggesting physical alterations linked to repeated head impacts.

Q: Why are these findings significant?

A: They may represent the first measurable structural differences in living people that correlate with known postmortem CTE features, moving closer to early diagnosis.

Q: Can this study be used to diagnose CTE now?

A: Not yet—researchers caution that larger studies are needed, but this work lays the foundation for future diagnostic tools.

6352 - TED talk - Bryan Stevenson

I just saw Bryan Stevenson on PBS. I'd never heard of him. He's a great talker. I thought there must be something on Youtube that he has done. Yep. A TED talk. This is a 24 minute video that will be over before you know it.

https://www.ted.com/talks/bryan_stevenson_we_need_to_talk_about_an_injustice 

6351 - B12 again

Another article about B12 and old people...

Science Sphere (Facebook)

New findings reveal that “normal” vitamin B12 levels might not be enough to shield the aging brain from harm.

A team at UCSF, studying 231 healthy adults with an average age of 71, found that those with lower—but technically standard—levels of vitamin B12 displayed slower processing speeds, more white matter damage in the brain, and cognitive weaknesses. Their B12 levels averaged 414.8 pmol/L, well above the U.S. minimum of 148 pmol/L, yet people in the lower range of “normal” showed measurable brain changes on MRI and performed worse in cognitive tests.

Researchers argue that current guidelines for B12 may be set too low, failing to account for subtle neurological impacts that don’t result in overt symptoms or anemia. They suggest doctors should consider B12 supplementation in older patients with neurological signs, even when blood levels are classified as normal. The study recommends redefining B12 deficiency by relying more on markers like biologically active B12, which may better reflect how much the body can use.

Given that B12 deficiency is preventable, this research calls for fresh evaluation of dietary needs—since the vitamin, found mainly in animal products and fortified foods, is crucial for long-term cognitive health.

Follow Science Sphere for regular scientific updates

📄 RESEARCH PAPER

📌 Alexandra Beaudry-Richard et al, "Vitamin B12 Levels Association with Functional and Structural Biomarkers of Central Nervous System Injury in Older Adults", Annals of Neurology (2025)