6712 - A real question from a Trump supporter

A real question from a Trump supporter: ‘Why do liberals think Trump supporters are stupid?’

THE SERIOUS ANSWER: Here’s what the majority of anti-Trump voters honestly feel about Trump supporters en masse:

That when you saw a man who had owned a fraudulent University, intent on scamming poor people, you thought "Fine." (https://www.usatoday.com/.../trump-university.../502387002/)

That when you saw a man who had made it his business practice to stiff his creditors, you said, "Okay." (https://www.thedailybeast.com/trump-hotel-paid-millions...)

That when you heard him proudly brag about his own history of sexual abuse, you said, "No problem." (https://abcnews.go.com/.../list-trumps-accusers.../story...)

That when he made up stories about seeing Muslim-Americans in the thousands cheering the destruction of the World Trade Center, you said, "Not an issue." (https://www.washingtonpost.com/.../donald-trumps.../)

That when you saw him brag that he could shoot a man on Fifth Avenue and you wouldn't care, you exclaimed, "He sure knows me." (https://www.usatoday.com/.../president-donald.../4073405002/)

That when you heard him relating a story of an elderly guest of his country club, an 80-year old man, who fell off a stage and hit his head, to Trump replied: “‘Oh my God, that’s disgusting,’ and I turned away. I couldn’t—you know, he was right in front of me, and I turned away. I didn’t want to touch him. He was bleeding all over the place. And I felt terrible, because it was a beautiful white marble floor, and now it had changed color. Became very red.” You said, "That's cool!" (https://www.gq.com/story/donald-trump-howard-stern-story)

That when you saw him mock the disabled, you thought it was the funniest thing you ever saw. (https://www.nbcnews.com/.../donald-trump-criticized-after...)

That when you heard him brag that he doesn't read books, you said, "Well, who has time?" (https://www.theatlantic.com/.../americas-first.../549794/)

That when the Central Park Five were compensated as innocent men convicted of a crime they didn't commit, and he angrily said that they should still be in prison, you said, "That makes sense." (https://www.usatoday.com/.../what-trump-has.../1501321001/)

That when you heard him tell his supporters to beat up protesters and that he would hire attorneys, you thought, "Yes!" (https://www.latimes.com/.../la-na-trump-campaign-protests...)

That when you heard him tell one rally to confiscate a man's coat before throwing him out into the freezing cold, you said, "What a great guy!" (https://www.independent.co.uk/.../donald-trump-orders...)

That you have watched the parade of neo-Nazis and white supremacists with whom he curries favor, while refusing to condemn outright Nazis, and you have said, "Thumbs up!" (https://www.theatlantic.com/.../why-cant-trump.../567320/)

That you hear him unable to talk to foreign dignitaries without insulting their countries and demanding that they praise his electoral win, you said, "That's the way I want my President to be." (https://www.huffpost.com/.../trump-insult-foreign...)

That you have watched him remove expertise from all layers of government in favor of people who make money off of eliminating protections in the industries they're supposed to be regulating and you have said, "What a genius!" (https://www.politico.com/.../138-trump-policy-changes...)

That you have heard him continue to profit from his businesses, in part by leveraging his position as President, to the point of overcharging the Secret Service for space in the properties he owns, and you have said, "That's smart!" (https://www.usnews.com/.../how-is-donald-trump-profiting...)

That you have heard him say that it was difficult to help Puerto Rico because it was in the middle of water and you have said, "That makes sense." (https://www.washingtonpost.com/.../the-very-big-ocean.../)

That you have seen him start fights with every country from Canada to New Zealand while praising Russia and quote, "falling in love" with the dictator of North Korea, and you have said, "That's statesmanship!" (https://www.cnn.com/.../donald-trump-dictators.../index.html)

That Trump separated children from their families and put them in cages, managed to lose track of 1500 kids, has opened a tent city incarceration camp in the desert in Texas - he explains that they’re just “animals” - and you say, “Well, OK then.” (https://www.nbcnews.com/.../more-5-400-children-split...)

That you have witnessed all the thousand and one other manifestations of corruption and low moral character and outright animalistic rudeness and contempt for you, the working American voter, and you still show up grinning and wearing your MAGA hats and threatening to beat up anybody who says otherwise. (https://www.americanprogress.org/.../confronting-cost.../)

What you don't get, Trump supporters, is that our succumbing to frustration and shaking our heads, thinking of you as stupid, may very well be wrong and unhelpful, but it's also... hear me... charitable.

Because if you're NOT stupid, we must turn to other explanations, and most of them are less flattering.

- Adam-Troy Castro

6711 - Long joke Sunday

An elderly lady was somewhat lonely

and decided that she needed a pet to

keep her company. 

So off to the pet shop,

she went. She searched, and nothing

seemed to catch her interest except

this one ugly frog.

As she walked by the barrel he was in,

he looked up and winked at her!

He whispered, "I'm lonely too, buy me

and you won't be sorry." The old Lady

figured, what the heck, as she hadn't

found anything else.

So, she bought the frog and went to

her car. Driving down the road, the frog

whispered to her, "Kiss me, you won't

be sorry." 

So, the old lady figured what

the heck and kissed the frog.

Immediately the frog turned into an

absolutely gorgeous, sexy, handsome

young prince. Then the prince kissed

her back, and you know what the old lady

turned into?

The first motel she could find ...

She's old, not dead!

6710 - Saturday jokes

Did you know on the Canary Islands there is not one canary? 

And on the Virgin Isles?

Same thing - not one canary there either!

The next time you shop, ask your cashier what kind of candy bar they like and buy them one.

I did this today, it was self checkout, but still, it's a nice thing to do!

Your body has always told you when it's tired. 

At 80, you've finally stopped arguing with it.

One day Steve's mom was cleaning his room. In the closet, she found a bondage S&M magazine.

This was highly upsetting to her.

She hid the magazine until his father got home.

When Steve's father walked in the door, she irately handed the magazine to him, and said, "THIS is what I found in your son's closet."

He looked at it and handed it back to her without a word.

After an uncomfortable minute of silence she finally asked him, "Well, what should we do about this?"

Dad looked at her and said, "Well I DON'T think you should spank him." (Kathy)

If you want to look tall, hang out with short people.

If you want to look young, hang out with old people.

If you want to look smart, hang out with Trump supporters.

One day, you'll hear cell phones going off.

Then shouting and cheering.

In the distance, car horns will begin to honk.

A stranger might buy everyone a round at the bar where you're sitting.

And without anyone saying a word, you'll know...

As the stranger enters a country store, he spots a sign: "Danger! Beware of Dog!" Inside, he sees a harmless old hound asleep in the middle of the floor.

Is that the dog we're supposed to beware of?" he asks the owner.

"That's him," comes the reply.

"He doesn't look dangerous to me. Why would you post that sign?"

"'Cause before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him." (Kathy)

I'm not getting older. I'm becoming a limited edition. (Bilbo)

A THIEF ATTEMPTED TO STEAL GAS FROM A PARKED TOURIST BUS, SIPHONED THE TOILET TANK INSTEAD.

"Sir, we are mining too many useless ores."

[Hitler rubs his chin] "So, mine less."

[A grammar Nazi bursts in] "Mine fewer!"

[Hitler looks up] "Yes?" (Kathy)

After a sheepdog gets all the sheep in the pen, he reports back to the farmer: "All 40 accounted for."

"But I only have 38 sheep," says the farmer.

"I know," says the sheepdog. "But I rounded them up." (Kathy)

Yesterday I saw a dog wearing a "Do not approach" vest. I wonder if  they make those for people. (Bilbo)

INTERVIEWER: What would you say are your st-

ME: Strengths? Making inferences from minimal data.

INTERVIEWER: Okay. And your we-

ME: Wheat allergies? None whatsoever.

The US is the only country in the world where people believe government-funded healthcare won't work because people with government-funded healthcare told them so.

There's microplastics in human semen now.

And it's like across the board.

It doesn't matter what economic class you're in.

There's microplastics in billionaire semen.

That's not good!

Kids eat that!

Why is sleeping in considered being lazy, but going to bed early isn't? (Kathy) (Exactly!)

When I have to fill out a form asking whom to call in case of an emergency,

I ALWAYS WRITE AN AMBULANCE.

No one in my family is going to answer a call from an UNKNOWN NUMBER.

For my age, I have a lot going for me.

My eyes are going.

My knees are going.

My back is going.

I'm actually a very pleasant person to be around ...

unless I'm hungry, tired, hot, cold, thirsty, anxious, dealing with idiots, or basically uncomfortable in any way.

At my age an all-nighter means I didn't have to get up and pee.

A college professor announces the rules for the final exam.

"No excuses. Missing this exam means failing the course. 

Only a serious injury, a death in the family, or a nuclear disaster will be accepted."

A student at the back raises his hand with a grin.

"What about sexual exhaustion?"

The class bursts out laughing.

The professor waits for silence, then smiles back.

"In that case, you'll have to write with your other hand."

Funeral home director puts out a wanted

ad for out-of-work actors.

An actor shows up and interviews. "What's the job?"

"It's easy. On the day of funeral, you know how

we load the casket into that long car?"

"The hearse? Oh yeah, sure."

"Sometimes, the back door opens and the

casket falls out into the street. Your job is to

drive behind the car, and if that happens, you

jump out and re-load the casket into the back of

the car."

"OK. Why do you need an actor for this

particular job?"

"Because you guys are so good at rehearsing."

Them: You going to the party?

You: No, I'm a social vegan.

Them: A what?

You: I avoid meet!

MONSTERS DON'T LIKE TO EAT GHOSTS BECAUSE THEY TASTE LIKE SHEET.

As you get older you've got to stay positive. 

For example, just the other day I fell down a fight of stairs.

But instead of getting all negative about it, I thought

to myself, geez that's the fastest I've moved in years!

I'm currently experiencing life at the rate of several "WTF's" per hour. (Bilbo)

Just remember that given the abundance of neurodivergent people in science, it's far more likely that autism causes vaccines.

Why did Adele cross the road?

To say hello from the other side.

Putting someone on the ballot just because of their last name is a bit slimy.

But enough about Darlene Graham.

I met a woman at the park today.

She told me her name, her husband's name, and where they live. 

I remember none of that. 

Her dog is Walter. He's 9, loves cheese,

has seasonal allergies, his birthday

is October 19th, and he has beef

with a corgi named Stanley. 

This information will live rent-free in my

brain for the next 30 years.

FOX: "WHY ARE YOU HERE THIS MORNING?"

TRUMP RALLY ATTENDEE: "WELL, IN THE LATE 70S, I

WAS A LITTLE TOO YOUNG TO GO TO SOUTH

AMERICA FOR THE JONESTOWN MASSACRE. BUT

THIS IS AS CLOSE AS I'LL EVER GET, SO THAT'S

WHY I'M HERE. THERE'S NOTHING LIKE SEEING A

CULT RIGHT UP FRONT."

I know a super hot shower is bad for your skin and hair, 

but being boiled alive is important for my mental health.

6709 - Long joke Sunday

Just experienced the pettiest standoff at

Walgreens and I have never felt more alive.

My prescription total came out to literally 12 cents,

so I dug into my wallet and handed the pharmacist a

dime and two pennies. He looked at me with pure

disdain and goes, "We don't take those anymore.

They stopped making pennies."

I told him they're still legal tender, but he refused.

So I pulled back the coins and handed him a twenty

dollar bill instead. The look of disgust was immediate ...

He opens the register to break a twenty for a

12-cent transaction, only to realize he doesn't have

enough singles or coins in the drawer. He looks up

and mutters, "I don't have exact change."

I just smiled and said, "I do."

There was dead silence while he gave me my twenty back and

quietly accepted my 12 cents.

6708 - Saturday jokes

Next time you're voting for a president at least pick someone who has at least done most or all of these things:

1. Driven a car

2. Pumped gas

3. Went to a grocery store and bought food

for their family

4. Cooked a meal for their family

5. Stepped foot inside of a public school

6. Went to a parent teacher conference at a

public school

7. Held an hourly job

8. Paid for health insurance

9. Paid a bill

10. Read a book

Marquee sign if front of-

LIBERTY MEADOWS ELEMENTARY SCHOOL...

MAGA-PARENTS: IF YOU

DROPPED OFF YOUR CHILD

AS A BOY, BUT TOOK HOME A

GIRL AT END-OF-DAY,

YOU HAVE THE WRONG CHILD.

PLEASE RETURN THE GIRL

AND PICK UP YOUR SON.

I'VE GOTTEN SOME EXTREMELY RACIST AND VILE COMMENTS ON MY FACEBOOK PAGE. INSTEAD OF BLOCKING THEM, I'VE JUST BEEN TAGGING THEIR EMPLOYER. 

THEY SEEM TO BE SO PROUD OF THEIR BIGOTRY SO I THOUGHT I'D MAKE SURE THEIR BOSS COULD SEE IT AND CELEBRATE THEM FOR IT.

Nine Important Facts

Number 9 - Death is the number 1 killer in the world.

Number 8 - Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 7 - Good health is merely the slowest

possible rate at which one can die.

Number 6 - Men have two emotions: hungry and

horny, and they can't tell them apart. If you see a

gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.

Number 5 - Give a person a fish and you feed them

for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and

they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe

years.

Number 4 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid

someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.

Number 3 - All of us could take a lesson from the

weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

Number 2 - In the 60's, people took acid to make the

world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take

Prozac to make it normal.

Number 1 - Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers.

What you do today might burn your ass tomorrow.

Someone recently said:

Don't worry about old age; it doesn't last that long.

Turning Point USA was founded in 2012 by Charlie Kirk and Bill Montgomery.

Two of their major policy pushes were a more prominent gun culture and zero COVID restrictions.

Bill Montgomery died to the COVID virus.

Charlie Kirk died to gun violence.

Nobody sees the 5am runs.

Nobody sees me choosing a salad over fries.

Nobody sees me doing yoga in a peaceful sunlit room.

Because I don't do any of that. (John)

I'm at the age where I no longer care if I look good in photos. 

I just wanna look good in CT scans, MRIs, and X-rays. (John)

THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A GROUCHY OLD PERSON. 

THE TRUTH IS ONCE YOU GET OLD, YOU STOP BEING POLITE AND START BEING HONEST.

It's perfectly OK to talk to yourself and it's perfectly OK to answer yourself.

But it's totally sad that you have to repeat what you said because you weren't listening.

Most human beings have an almost infinite capacity for

taking things for granted. - Aldous Huxley

Orwell feared those who would ban books. Huxley

feared there would be no reason to ban a book, because

nobody would want to read one. - Neil Postman

We've arranged a global society based on science and

technology in which almost nobody understands science

and technology. - Carl Sagan

The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become

so absolutely free that your very existence is an act of

rebellion. - Albert Camus

Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it,

doesn't go away. - Philip K. Dick

Dogs make me happy.

Humans make my head hurt.

Just to be clear,

WE PAID THE FUCKING TARIFFS

AND THE CORPORATIONS GOT THE REFUNDS.

If you vote Republican ever again, 

you're as dumb as that red hat makes you look.

THOMAS JEFFERSON SAID,

"IF SERVING IN AN

ELECTED OFFICE EVER

BECOMES A CAREER,

CORRUPTION WILL SURELY

FOLLOW."

I THINK HE NAILED IT!

If 10 people are on a bus, and 3 vote to drive it off a cliff, 2 vote to stay on the road, and 5 don't vote at all .. you're all going off the cliff.

Got my booster early, which left my whole day open. 

Waited for the autism to kick in, then stopped by ANTIFA headquarters to pick up my protesting check. Now I'm headed to the elementary school to help with transgender surgeries.

Don't believe what you see in cartoons.

No matter how hard you throw a toilet plunger,

it won't actually stick to someone's face.

Don't ask me how I know this. (John)