6613 - Thursday trees

I actually gathered 16 pics for today. And 4 more from Bilbo. Guess which 4, after declaring your fav.

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6612 - Long joke Sunday

A man wearing a MAGA baseball cap was seated next to an woman on an airplane. 

He turned to her and said, “Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.”

The woman, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, “What would you want to talk about?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” said the man. “How about those children whose parents get them vaccinated becoming autistic.”

“Okay,” she said. “This could be interesting topic but let me ask you a question first. 

A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff – grass. 

Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?”

The man, visibly surprised by the woman’s question, thinks about it and says, “Hmmm, I have no idea.”

To which the woman replies, “Do you really feel qualified to discuss science and medicine, when you don’t know shit?”

************

This is the perfect month. Starts on Sunday, 28 days long, ends on Saturday. We could have 13 of these if we wanted too. 

6611 - Saturday jokes

H1 - What's an orgasm?

H2 - When you fold paper to look like birds and stuff.

H3 - Gurl, that's oregano.

From Nextdoor: There’s a homeless/unhorsed person who has created a “camp” at Valcour & Heege in Affton.

"Ever been to sea, Billy?"

"No, Captain Hindgrinder."

"Then meet your bunkmates, Ben Dover and Phil McCracken." (Tundra Bunny via Debra)

Who knew that in America's ugly divorce, the liberals would get custody of the NFL, the true teachings of Jesus, and the second amendment.

I should do something with my life...

maybe tomorrow.

JD Vance placed candles outside Hooters where ICE agents were heckled.

In a recent interview, tRUMP paused, tapped his head, and struggled to recall the word Alzheimer's.

Cannonballs used to be stored aboard ship on piles, on a triangular brass frame or tray called a brass monkey, three on the bottom, one in the middle on top. In very cold weather the brass would contract, spilling the cannonballs all over the deck. Hence very cold weather is "cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey".

Sign on machine:

WARNING

Moving parts present serious risk to dicks.

DO NOT PUT DICK IN MACHINERY.

Him:

INSTRUCTIONS UNCLEAR!

DICK STUCK IN MACHINERY!

How many chefs do you think were executed in medieval times because the King's food tester had a food allergy?

Let's do a drone light show over an uncontacted tribe and become their gods.

Sign on door to classroom:

The spider infestation has been mostly resolved.

I feel like I’ve experienced more historical events since 2025 than we were actually required to learn about in school.

MAGAts are caught in a loop. Climate change is a hoax but we need Greenland because of climate change which a hoax.

Wind chimes are made from the metallic bones of robots that tried to overthrow us.

Hang them outside as a warning to others.

How prior authorizations work...

My doctor: You need this medicine.

Dr. to pharmacy: She needs this medicine.

Pharmacy to insurance: Her doctor says she needs this medicine.

Insurance: Does she really? Let's ask her doctor.

The only thing flat-earthers fear is, sphere itself.

Cows farts are dangerous.

They need cattlelitic converters.

The five-second rule does not apply if you have a two-second dog.

Happy Semiquincentennial Anniversary Year, USA!

Even though... The US Constitution dates to 1789. The Articles of Confederation date to 1777. The American Revolutionary War began in 1775 and ended in 1783.

The internet used to come through the phone and it sounded like screaming robots.

Sure grandpa, let's get you to bed.

6610 - Thursday trees

Todays trees are again provided by Bilbo. 

When I move all 20 pictures from my file to the blog, Blogger shuffles them around so I have no idea where they will wind up in the count. Number 20 showed up in the perfect spot today.

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6609 - Long joke Sunday

Only in Britain - Complaints to Councils Extracts from letters written by council tenants:

1. It's the dog's mess that I find hard to swallow.

2. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.

3. I wish to complain that my father twisted his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.

4. Their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my fence.

5. I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was bad wind the other day that blew them off.

6. My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?

7. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.

8. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.

9. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.

10. 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster, and 50% are just plain filthy.

11. The next door neighbor has got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take it anymore.

12. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared.

13. Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny color and not fit to drink.

14. Our lavatory seat is broken in half and now is in three pieces.

15. I want to complain about the farmer across the road. Every morning at 6am his cock wakes me up and it's now getting too much for me.

16. The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.

17. Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third, so please send someone round to do something about it.

18. I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night.

19. Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife..

20. I have had the clerk of works down on the floor six times but I still have no satisfaction.

21. This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broke and we can't get BBC2.