474 - 67 vs 07

Got this email recently. It obviously has a conservative bent to it but some of the stuff is funny anyway. I added the scenario at the end to balance it all out.
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1967 vs. 2007

Scenario: Jack goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school parking lot with shotgun in gun rack.

1967 - Vice principal comes over to look at Jack's shotgun. He goes to his own car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.

2007 - School goes into lock-down, and FBI is called. Jack is hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.


Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his dad gives him a whipping with his belt.

1967 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.

2007 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is placed in foster care and joins a gang. State psychologist convinces Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself, and their dad goes to prison. Billy's Mom has affair with psychologist.


Scenario: Mark has a headache and brings some aspirin to school.

1967 - Mark takes aspirin in lunchroom and headache goes away.

2007 - Police called. Mark is expelled from school for drug violations. Car is searched for drugs and weapons.


Scenario: Pedro fails English in high school.

1967 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college.

2007 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English banned from curriculum. Pedro is given a diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.


Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from 4th of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a fire ant hill.

1967 - Ants die.

2007 - Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms, Homeland Security, and FBI called. Johnny is charged wit h domestic terrorism. The FBI investigates parents; siblings are removed from home; computers are confiscated. Johnny's dad goes on Terror Watch List and is never allowed to fly again.


Scenario: Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher who hugs him to comfort him.

1967 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.

2007 - Teacher is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces three years in state prison. Johnny undergoes five years of therapy .

-- And now to balance things out. --

Scenario: Johnny's teacher sexually abuses him.

1967 - Johnny goes home and tells his parents. Parents spank Johnny for saying things like that about a teacher. Say never to mention it again. Johnny grows up to become an abuser himself.

2007 - Pervert teacher is arrested and put in a place where child abusers are not appreciated.