1866 - Grrrrrrrrr

Well I sort of have my posting ability back. I had to download google chrome. I've tried to use Chrome before and it hasn't changed. The fonts suck. It hurts my eyes to look at this crap.

OK, looks like I can change the fonts in the compose mode. Can I get used to a new browser? Maybe. But I'm still going to try and fix IE8.

So what to post? How about a few things from 'Not Always Right'? Because one of these stories may be about me soon!

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Not A Shred Of Intelligence
College, library | Orange County, NY, USA | Physical, Students
(It’s finals week and a student approaches our help desk.)

Student: “Your copy machine isn’t working. My papers wont come out.”

Me: “It’s probably jammed. I’ll have my coworker fix that for you.”

(My coworker follows the student to the copy machines. After a few minutes, the student runs by me in tears. My coworker comes back a few moments later.)

Me: “What happened?!”

Coworker: “She used the shredder instead of the copy machine.”



The Cannabis Chronicles
Retail | Hilo, HI, USA | Health & Sickness, Tech Support & Issues
Customer: “I need an auxiliary cable and a USB cord.”

Me: “Okay, no problem.”

(I take the customer to where the USB cords are and hand him the one he wants. He puts it under his arm and we continue over to where the aux cables are.)

Me: “All right, and here’s your cable. Is there anything else that I can help you with today?”

Customer: “Yeah, I need a USB cord.”

Me: “Like the one under your arm?”

(The customer looks down and seems shocked to be holding the cord.)

Customer: “Woah! Must be all that weed I smoke!”



The Notified And The (Not)ified, Part 2
Call Center, Tech Support | Northwest England, UK | Tech Support & Issues
(I work for a broadband provider that has a package for 10GB in usage. This is normally for those who use the internet very little. If you hit 7GB, we will send you an e-mail to let you know. If you go over the 10GB, we will e-mail you and advise you to move up in packages to avoid being charged for going over.)

Me: “Hello, you’re through to [name] at [ISP]. How can I help you?”

Customer: *angrily* “You’d better help! I’ve just seen one of my bills and it says you are charging me for going over my broadband usage.”

Me: “Okay, sir, sorry to hear about that. Let me just have a look into this…”

(I check his broadband usage and he has used about 70GB. He has an average usage of 60GB for the last 12 months.)

Me: “Okay, sir, I can see that there has been a lot of high usage for the last year. If you move to an unlimited pack, you wont be charged for going over this month.”

Customer: “The last year? I better not have been charged for that.”

Me: “I’m afraid you have been, sir. We have sent you many e-mails to let you know when you got near and went over the usage.”

(He has been sent so many e-mails, the first 20 are not even shown on the list.)

Customer: “Bull***t! I check my e-mails 10 times a day and not once have you ever e-mailed me!”

Me: “Sir, we have sent the e-mails to [e-mail address].”

Customer: “I don’t use that e-mail address anymore, so of course I didn’t get them!”

Me: “Did you ever update your e-mail with us so we can send them to the correct e-mail?”

Customer: “No, but you should have checked if I have opened them or not. You should have let me know that I was near my usage limit in the post!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but [ISP] wouldn’t know you have swapped your e-mail unless you inform us. In regard to letting you know by post, it takes 5 working days for a letter to be sent out, sir. In that time, you would have gone over the 10GB and still would have been charged. Also, you are on monthly paper billing, so we have actually informed you via post every month on your bill.”

Customer: *very angrily* “Well, I don’t open my bills! Just by chance, my wife opened this one and showed me these charges!”

Me: “I sorry, sir, but like your e-mails, we don’t know if you have been opening your mail or not. So, we have informed you via post and e-mail but you have not opened either. What else would you have us do?”

Customer: “Well! Have you ever thought about telling me over the phone?”

Me: “I am doing that now, sir—”

Customer: “Well, it ain’t good enough!” *hangs up*



Cower Before My Shower Of Flowers
Plant Nursery | Ontario, Canada | Physical
(I am standing at the cash register of our store. A customer comes up and asks about our tulip bulbs, so I point them out and she goes over to them.)

Customer: “Well, aren’t you going to help me count them out?

Me: “Sure, ma’am, how many would you like?”

Customer: “500, obviously. You can’t expect me to do that on my own!”

Me: “Sure, ma’am, I’ll help you for the moment.”

(As we reach the 200-tulip mark, three other customers finish their shopping and line up at the cash. I’m the only cashier, so I go to help.)

Customer: “Hey! Where do you think you’re going?! I don’t have 500 yet!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I need to ring these people through. I’m the only cashier on duty. I can help you again once I’m finished.”

Customer: “You b****! You said you would help me, and now you want to back out? I can’t believe this!”

(Suddenly, the customer throws her bagged tulips onto the floor, scattering them everywhere. She then grabs handfuls of bulbs from the bin, throws them around the store, stands up, and marches out.)