Monday, July 09, 2012

1945 - True email jokes


Here's some true stories from an email. They have to be true right? Well at least they're good jokes....


ONE

Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets.

I asked for a half dozen nuggets. 'We don't have half dozen nuggets,' said the teenager at the counter.

'You don't?' I replied. 'We only have six, nine, or twelve,' was the reply.

'So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?'

'That's right.'

So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets


TWO

I was checking out at the local Walmart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those 'dividers' that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed.

After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the 'divider', looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code, she said to me, 'Do you know how much this is?'

I said to her 'I've changed my mind; I don't think I'll buy that today.' She said 'OK,' and I paid her for the things and left.

She had no clue to what had just happened.


THREE

A woman at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly.

When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM 'thingy.'


FOUR

I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. 'Do you need some help?' I asked.

She replied, 'I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?'

'Hmmm, I don't know. Do you have an alarm, too?' I asked.

'No, just this remote thingy,' she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, 'Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk....'


FIVE

Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, 'I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?' 'Just use paper from the photocopier', the secretary told her.

With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five 'blank' copies.


SIX

A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid had eaten ants.

The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and he should be fine, the mother says, 'I just gave him some ant killer......'

Dispatcher: 'Rush him in to emergency!'



********


And then here are a couple of sites that one, promotes American made goods, and two, Promotes fair labor practices.

http://www.americansworking.com/

http://www.fairlabor.org/

And finally a bit on what Thomas Jefferson's opinion really was on separation of church and state.

9 comments:

eViL pOp TaRt said...

Great stories of stupidity!!

Big Sky Heidi said...

I enjoyed these!

Margaret (Peggy or Peg too) said...

Thank you. These made my morning.

I'm With Stupid said...

Also at McDonald's you can get a Double Quarter Pounder, but not a Half Pound Burger.

Jay

Mike said...

Jay - But could you get a .25 pounder? Or a .25x2 pounder?

Lizbeth said...

And suddenly I feel like I should be in MENSA or something....

Mike said...

Angel - Now all we need are some names to go with them.

Heidi - That's a good thing.

Peg - Always good to get off to a good start.

Lizbeth - There are people that think like this out there.

Amanda said...

These were HILARIOUS!!!

Mike said...

Amanda - Yes they were. Maybe to good to be true. But who cares.