Resend this email by changing the state name to whatever state you are in. I'm sure it applies everywhere. (If you're in the state of confusion, forget I mentioned this.)
IT'S SO HOT in
Missouri
.....the birds have to use potholders
to pull the worms out of the ground.
.....the trees are
whistling for the dogs.
.....the best parking
place is determined by shade instead of
distance
.....hot water comes
from both taps.
.....you can make sun
tea instantly.
.....you learn that a
seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding
iron.
.....the temperature
drops below 90 F and you feel a little
chilly.
.....you discover that
in July it only takes two fingers to steer your car (one on each
hand).
.....you discover that
you can get sunburned through your car
window.
.....you actually burn
your hand opening the car door.
.....you break into a
sweat the instant you step outside at 5:30
A.M.
.....your biggest
motorcycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the
pavement and cook to death"?
.....you realize that
asphalt has a liquid stage.
.....the potatoes cook
underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and add
butter.
.....the cows are
giving evaporated milk.
.....farmers are
feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying boiled
eggs.
IT'S SO DRY in
Missouri that
.....the Baptists are starting to baptize by sprinkling
.....the Methodists are using
wet-wipes
.....the Presbyterians are giving out rain checks
11 comments:
Well, the lady may be hot but I'm sure her feet stay cool in all that shade.
She has feet?
Bilbo - I know what a farmer tan is. What would an untanned stomach be called?
John - I'm not sure either John. I'm going to assign you to check that out. Report back by.... oh forget it. If you manage to get that close you won't be coming back.
I'm sorry it's hot, Mike. Obviously, the lady seems to be suffering from the heat!
Poor dear...look at all that swelling, she probably needs a lasix.
how'd you get my picture?
Using that "I feel lucky" search? Obviously, you were.
"Hot" is subjective.
I went out to get the newspaper at 4:30 this morning and started sweating. It was ridiculously hot and humid last night.
Jay
Angel - She does look hot doesn't she?
Andrea - She needs to come to Mikes' lasix pretreatment center first.
Peg - Didn't Rick tell you he was selling them on the interne... nevermind.
Duck - Lucky and surprised.
Jay - Yes there are people that actually like this kind of weather. I think they should all be killed to get them out of the gene pool.
I hope, for everyone's sake, that the hot spell breaks soon!
She has a FULL balcony, doesn't she?
Heidi - It's a new definition for the word hot.
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