2339 - A biker, spy, Bostonian, blonde, man, and professor

A biker goes to the doctor with hearing problems. "Can you describe the symptoms to me?" asked the doctor. "Yes. Homer is a fat yellow lazy bastard and Marge is a skinny chick with big blue hair."

During the war, two German spies were sent to London to gather valuable intel. To immerse themselves in the local culture they walk into a local pub and walk up to the bar. The first German says to the barman in an impeccable English accent "May I have two Martinis please?" "Dry?" asked the barman. The German replied, holding up two fingers. "Nein! Zwei!"

In most places, losing your khakis means you have no pants. In Boston, if you lose your khakis, you can't drive.

Two blondes are on opposite sides of a river. One yells to the other, "How do you get on the other side of the river?" The other yells back, "You're already ON the other side!"

A man cheats on his girlfriend named Lorraine with a girl named Clearly. Suddenly, Lorraine died. At the funeral, the man stands up and sings, "I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone."

A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait. Once the test was over the students all handed the tests back in. The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying "A dollar per point." The next class the professor handed the graded tests back out. This student got back his test and $64 change.