2363 - Friday jokes

A multimillionaire goes to a psychologist ... So, the multimillionaire is lying there on the couch, and he says, "I have this problem where I buy things. Big things, little things. It doesn't matter if it's a good deal or not. It doesn't matter whether or not I need it. It's the thrill of the purchase. In fact, yesterday I pulled out my wallet, and I bought an entire mall."

So the psychologist thinks for a little while, and finally says, "Then it sounds like you have a shopping complex."

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Two men are walking down the street when they see 3 guys across the road beating up an older woman. Fred turns to George and says "Hey, isn't that your mother in law over there?" "So it is." replies George "Well aren't you going to help?!" Fred asked. "Nah," George replied, "I think those 3 are doing just fine."

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Have you heard about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? He's 0K now.
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The other day, after much trial and error, I successfully became completely weightless. I was like, 0mg!

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Two whales were swimming together in the Pacific Ocean when they come across a whaling vessel. One whale looks to the other and says, "We should swim under it and blow our air out, and hopefully the boat will capsize!" The second whale agrees, thinking that every whaler deserves a fate like that, so they swim under the boat, and exhale as hard as they can.

The boat tips over and all the men on board are stranded, floating I the water. The first whale then says, "We should eat these sailors so they don't ever even have the chance to hunt another one of us again!" The second whale, with a look of disgust on her face, replied, "Look. I went ahead with the blowjob, but there is no WAY you're going to get me to swallow the seamen!"

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More jokes tomorrow.