(Two techs have food poisoning today, so it is just me, a new girl, and the vet. We are in the middle of surgery when a very well-dressed customer and her blue heeler dog come in.)
Me: “Hi, I’ll be with you in just a minute.”
Customer: “Nobody else is here, so you should help me now!”
Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am but we are in the middle of surgery and we are short-staffed today. So if you could please take a seat, I will help you when we are finished.”
Customer: “You are being rude! I am a paying customer!”
Me: “Okay then, ma’am. What is the problem today?”
Customer: “My dog is pregnant. I want to know how many puppies there are.”
Me: “Okay, and what is her name?”
Customer: “HIS!”
Me: “Excuse me?”
Customer: “HIS name is Bandit.”
Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but male dogs can’t get pregnant.”
Customer: “F*** YOU! YOU DONT KNOW S***!” *storms out*
Me: *sigh* “It’s only 9:30.”
Me: “Welcome to [Pizza Restaurant]! Did you already have an order?”
Customer: “No. Well sort of; I have a complaint for a pizza I just got.”
Me: “Okay, I’m the manager on duty at the moment. How can I help you?”
Customer: “Well, I just got this pizza, and I bit into it, and, well, there was a tooth in it.”
Me: “I’m sorry, a tooth?”
Customer: “Yeah, it looked like it was cooked. It’s real black.”
(The area I live in has a meth abuse problem, as well as a lower than average annual income, so dental hygiene is not a strength of this particular community. As the customer is talking, I notice he has several rotten and black teeth, as well as several missing.)
Me: “Um, okay. Do you have the pizza and, erm, tooth with you?”
(He hands the pizza and tooth to me. The tooth indeed looks very blackened, though obviously not from cooking. I excuse myself to let the owner know the situation, and I enter his office at the time he is on the phone.)
Owner: “No, ma’am, we don’t have security cameras outside the store. Did you let anyone know you had fallen? So you decided it wasn’t an issue over two years ago when you did slip and fall on our sidewalk, but suddenly it’s a problem for you? Well, I’m sorry, but without some sort of proof that you fell on our property, there isn’t much we can do for you. Very well, you can have your lawyer contact ours. Have a good day.”
(The owner hangs up and looks at me.)
Owner: “Your problem can’t possibly be worse than the lady I just dealt with. She claims she injured herself a few winters ago by slipping on ice on the sidewalk.”
Me: “I think you’d be surprised.”
(I have just solved a customer’s virus problem.)
Me: “That should do it. I got it all before it was able to do any major damage. Do you keep good backups?”
Customer: “Backups?”
Me: “Yes, copies of your important files for when—and I do mean when, not if—something happens to your computer. For instance if this virus had not been kept in check.”
Customer: “So I could have lost all my music and wedding photos, and pictures of my grandma who passed away?!”
Me: “It’s possible, if you do not have copies somewhere else, yes.”
Customer: “Oh my God! Can you show me how to back them up?!”
(I spend another 30 minutes showing her how to backup to a USB thumb-drive I have with me, as she does not own one.)
Me: “You will need to get your own USB drive. You should be able to get one of adequate size for around $10 to $20.”
(Three months later, I am at the same customer’s house.)
Me: “Sorry, but it looks like your hard drive has crashed.”
Customer: “What does that mean?!”
Me: “The part where all your information is stored has gone bad. Anything on it that was not backed up may very well be gone for good, unless you wanted to send it away for costly data recovery.”
Customer: “Oh yeah… I remember you telling me to backup the last time you were here so I went and got one of those things… let me get it.”
(She leaves the room. I hear some rummaging and she soon returns holding the UNOPENED USB drive.)
Customer: “Sure am glad I got this!”
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4 comments:
Mike, I don't know whether those are hilarious or just plain amazing! The blackened tooth one took the prize!
Angel - You could waste a whole day reading Not Always Right.
People trying to work an angle don't always get it right. They're not acute enough to do it,
Elvis - Some people are just obtuse.
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