2523 - Short puns

The internet was asked to come up with some short puns. Here are a few of them....


A plateau is the highest form of flattery.
 Geology puns rock.
 Geologists never take rocks for granite.
 That's what she sediment.
 I'm sick of this schist.
 Well, at least it's easy topaz rock jokes off as funny.

The crossed eyed teacher had trouble controlling his pupils.
You gotta hand it to blind prostitutes.
Dwarfs and midgets have very little in common.
I can't stand being in a wheelchair.
Regular sex will make your day, but anal sex will make your hole weak.
So this guy with a premature ejaculation problem comes out of nowhere.
I'm addicted to brake fluid, but I can stop whenever I want.
It takes a lot of balls to golf like me.
What's the best thing about Switzerland? I don't know, but their flag is a huge plus.
What do you call it when Batman skips church? Christian Bale.
If Al Gore was a musician, what would his album be called? Algorithms.
I went on a once in a lifetime holiday. Never again.
A cannibal passed his brother in the woods.
What's E.T. short for? Because he's only got little legs.
"I stand corrected", said the man in the orthopedic shoes.
What time does Sean Connery go to Wimbledon? Ten-ish.
What does DNA stand for? National Dyslexic's Association
What does every tickle-me elmo get before it leaves the factory? Two test tickles.
Stationery store moves.
All in all.... it was a good orgy.
Have you heard about the new pillows made out of corduroy? They're making headlines.
I saw a midget prisoner climbing down a wall. As he turned and sneered at me, I thought: 'that's a little condescending'.

Kid falls off his ass, onto his ass, while his ass fights with another ass.