2354 - Jokes Thursday

Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and trauma complications from being repeatedly poked in the belly. He was 81 years old.

Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch. The grave site was piled high with flours.

Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Born and bread in Minnesota, Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he lived to be a crusty old man and was considered a positive roll model for millions.

Doughboy is survived by his wife Play Dough, three children: John Dough, Jane Dough and Dosey Dough, plus they had one in the oven.

The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.



How is a cactus different from a Range Rover?
With a cactus the pricks are on the outside.



A Louisiana state trooper walked up to her window, flipping open his ticket book. She said, "I bet your gonna try to sell me a ticket to the Louisiana state troopers ball." He replied, "Louisiana state troopers don't have balls." There was a moment of silence. He then flipped his book closed, tipped his hat, got back in to his cruiser and left.



What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common?
Both of their last big hits were 'the wall'.



So there's a truck driver with a very important delivery; penguins to be delivered to the zoo. Unfortunately his truck breaks down and they are stranded in the middle of a dessert. Luckily their was a guy passing by in a pickup truck. The truck driver flags him down and says, "Here's $300. Take these penguins to the zoo for me." The pick up driver goes and takes them. Later the truck driver sees the other driver in town, and following him are the penguins. The trucker is furious and shouts at him, "What are you doing?! I gave you $300. You were supposed to take them to the zoo!!" He replies," I did! We had money left over so I took them to the movies as well!"



The football team is in the cafeteria and they're all waiting in line. Pete, who plays safety on the team, walks into the cafeteria and straight to the front of the line.
Everybody is upset. "Why do you get to go ahead?!", they all shout.
Pete replied, "Safety First!"



What do you call it when a judge farts?
An honorable discharge!