Old doctors never die they just lose their patience.
A criminal's best asset is his lie ability.
Now matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
To some - marriage is a word ... to others - a sentence.
Experts say the cost of funerals have risen by 50%, they blame it on the
cost of living.
Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
She's happy to make a pair of pants for you, or at least sew its seams.
He didn't tell his mother that he ate some glue. His lips were sealed.
A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
He said I was average - but he was just being mean.
I saw a beaver movie last night, it was the best dam movie I've ever seen.
Did you hear about the fire at the circus? The heat was in tents.
A cardboard belt would be a waist of paper.
I didn't want to buy leather shoes, but eventually I was suede.
A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was ticketed for littering.
Benny was sure that if he had to he could master braille once he got a feel for it.
If you leave alphabet soup on the stove and go out, it could spell disaster.
When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.
I decide which beer to drink on a case by case basis.
I've failed the mathematics test so many times I lost count.
A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
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5 comments:
Those are great zingers!
Great one liners!
As usual, these jokes were a hit.
My vote for the best one: "A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was ticketed for littering." Ha ha ha. Love it.
I enjoyed them!
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