3748 - Friday jokes

I found more short jokes. I don't think there are repeats from the last few days because these are from a different source. Let the joke fiesta continue.



A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.

Trail mix is just an inconvenient way to eat M&M's.

The Wizard of Oz is the ultimate chick flick. Two women trying to kill each other over a pair of shoes.

I'm the kind of friend who will help you hide a dead body, but if you betray me, just remember: I know how to hide a dead body.

I've finally decided to do something about my weight. Lie.

I'm having some vision trouble today. I can't see myself doing anything.

Mirrors don't lie. And, lucky for me, they don't laugh either.

No, I've never been caught. ...Why, what do you know?

She wanted a puppy. But I didn't want a puppy. So we compromised and got a puppy.

Why don’t the enemies of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles just flip them on their backs?

What's the point of making people like Paul McCartney and Elton John knights if they're not going to joust?

Your french fries are just my french fries on the wrong plate.

MISSING: Black and white cat with red collar. Very, very intelligent. Mittens, if you're reading this, please come home.......

I can only work out one part of my body at a time and usually it's my mouth.

A heart-shaped pizza just means less pizza and that's not a sacrifice I'm willing to make for love.

Just ate one serving of chips. 15 times in a row. Twice.

Some questions just answer themselves. Like, sit-ups or pizza?

Piñatas are a great way to teach children that if you repeatedly beat something with a stick, eventually you’ll get what you want.