Wednesday, August 02, 2017

3767 - Baseball and God


Baseball and God...




Calvinists believe the game is fixed.

Lutherans believe they can't win, but trust the Scorekeeper.

Quakers won't swing.

Unitarians can catch anything.

Amish walk a lot.

Pagans sacrifice.

Catholics feel guilty about stealing bases.

Jews always expect to lose, and get nervous when they don’t.

Jehovah's Witnesses are thrown out often.

Christian Scientists play when injured.

Televangelists get caught stealing.

Buddhists spend all their time getting ready for the next game.

Episcopalians pass the plate.

Methodists want to rewrite the rules.

Muslims won’t play by any rules but their own, and must travel to Cooperstown at least once.

Evangelicals make effective pitches.

Fundamentalists balk.

Hindus refuse to kill the umpire, because he might be a relative.

Fundamentalist Mormons are in left field.

Dunkers are down by three.

Adventists have a seventh-inning stretch.

Atheists refuse to have an umpire.

Agnostics will play, but don’t know whether or not to accept the authority of the umpire.

Baptists want to play hardball.

Premillenialists expect the game to be called soon on account of darkness.

The Pope claims never to have committed an error.

Now, go out and play ball. Faithfully.


9 comments:

Bilbo said...

I've seen variations on this before (and posted one of them back in 2010), but this one has some new twists to it. It just never gets old.

eViL pOp TaRt said...

This is amazing!

Margaret (Peggy or Peg too) said...

good funny.

John A Hill said...

Baseball, what's not to like?

Cloudia said...

Pray Ball!

Leroy said...

Baseball is the all-American sport!

John A Hill said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Banana Oil said...

So right on Lutherans.

allenwoodhaven said...

Clever!