4204 - Saturday jokes

A little boy was doing his math homework saying to himself, 2+5 the son of bitch is 7,
3+6 the son of bitch is 9.
His mother heard this & asked, "Why are you swearing?"
Boy, "Mom this is how the teacher taught us all."
Furious, the mother called the teacher: "Are u teaching math to children by saying 2+2, the son of bitch is 4?"
The teacher started laughing and said: "What I taught them was, 2+2, the sum of which is 4".


With great power ... comes great electricity bill.


The head of KFC called the Pope
He said, "I'll give you a million dollars to change the Lord's prayer to give us our daily chicken."
The Pope said no and hung up.
KFC called back and offered 10 million.
The Pope said no and hung up.
KFC called back and offered 100 million.
The Pope said, "You have a deal!"
The Pope got all the churches bigwigs together and said, "I have good news and bad news. Good news is, we are 100 million richer. Bad news is, we lost the Wonder Bread account.


News has just come in about a man in the Dublin area has been arrested for selling pills that he claimed would give eternal youth.
Police records have shown that it is the fourth time this man has been arrested. The earlier arrests were made in 1799, 1852 and 1921.


Don’t be ashamed of who you are...
That’s your parents’ job.


A woman gets married and has 10 kids.
Eventually, her husband dies, and she waits a year to grieve and gets married a second time. With that husband she has 8 kids.
That husband also dies, so she ends up getting married a third time. She has 6 kids with this man.
After a few years, this husband also dies. Finally, the woman dies a few years later.
At her funeral, the priest exclaims "Praise Jesus, for they have finally been brought together again at long last!"
One of her friends in the audience asks her husband, "Do you think he means her first, second or third husband?"
The husband replies, "Actually, I think he's talking about her legs."


I asked over 100 women which shampoo they are using.
And the number one answer was, "How the hell did you get in my bathroom?"


A gang of midget burglars broke into a butcher shop but fled empty handed.
It seems the steaks were too high.


Political joke competition in the USSR...
Grand prize: 15 years