4261 - Saturday jokes

The General Social Survey reports that the average male has sex 54 times a year.
It’s going to be a busy month.


I put a potato in the microwave and pushed the pizza button. When the dinger went off I opened the door and it was still a potato.


*****
A father in Iraq gifted his daughter a new bag. The daughter replied.....
Thanks for the Baghdad

Perhaps we could go for a walk with it.
It's so Sunni outside.

That was Shiite.

Syriausly?!

Oman we should stop with these puns.

Not before my pun, mine Israeli good.

Well that Saddam shame.

Assad shame indeed.
*****


What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?
Same middle name.


What is orange, about 70 years old, has caused enormous damage to the environment, and is a great embarrassment to the US?
Agent orange.


The other day my friend was telling me I didn't know what irony meant.
Which was ironic since we were at a bus stop.
(Could you please just explain it? Ok, so he says his friend says he doesn't understand irony. Then he says it was ironic because of a reason that's not ironic at all; thus he proves the fact that he doesn't understand irony.)


A girl asked me if I had a foot fetish. I said no.
I use the metric system.


I just bought my son a flat piece of cardboard for Christmas.
I have no idea why he wants an ex box.