4311 - Long joke Sunday

Shit...The Most Functional English Word!
That’s right shit! When you consider: You can get shit-faced, be shit out of luck, or have shit for brains With a little effort you can get your shit together, find a place for your shit, or be asked to shit or get off the pot. You can smoke shit, buy shit, sell shit. You can lose shit, find shit, forget shit, and tell others to eat shit. Some people know their shit, while others can't tell the difference between shit and shinola. There are lucky shits and dumb shits. Sometimes you see crazy shit. There is bullshit, horseshit, and chicken shit. You can throw shit, sling shit and catch shit. You can shoot the shit, or duck when the shit hits the fan You can even serve shit on a shingle. Sometimes you can find yourself in deep shit and sometimes you can be happier than a pig in shit. Some days are colder than shit, other days are hotter than shit, some days are just plain shitty. Things can look like shit, you can feel like shit, you can have too much shit, not enough shit, you can have the right shit, the wrong shit, and you can have lots of weird shit. You can carry shit, you can have a mountain of shit. Sometimes you can find yourself up shit creek without a paddle. At times everything you touch turns to shit and other times you can fall in a bucket of shit and come out smelling like a rose. When you stop to consider all the facts, shit is the basic building block of the English language. And remember once you know your shit, you won’t need to know any other shit! You can pass this along if you give a shit, or not if you don’t give a shit! Well shit, it's time for me to get some shit done. However, I just wanted you to know that I do give a shit and hope you have a nice day without having to deal with a lot of shit. If you happen to catch a load of shit from some shit-head, well, shit happens!