4331 - Saturday jokes

What do you call a blonde who dyed herself brunette?
Artificial Intelligence.


My wife asked me if I was having an affair with a woman from
Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwyllllantysiliogogogoch.
I said: “How can you say such a thing?”


A guy arrives at a music-themed costume party and the host asks him what he is supposed to be.
The guy happily shouts 'A harp'.
The host pauses and then says, 'I think that costume seems a little small to be a harp'.
The guy replies, 'Are you calling me a lyre?'


Who Did Princess Leia's Hair?
Darth Braider.


A blonde is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair
So she goes to a gun shop and buys a revolver.
The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead.
She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head.
The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.
Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"


Some say Trump is mentally unfit after declaring a national emergency?
However, it's all due to Hispanic attacks.


I am a social vegan.
I avoid meet.


Today I saw 2 blind men fighting.
I shouted, "I bet $10 on the one with the knife!"
They both took off running in opposite directions.


Just found an app that tells you which of your family members and friends are racist.
It's called Facebook.


Why did 18 blondes go to the movies?
Because it said “under 17 not admitted”


“I stand corrected.”
Said the man in the orthopedic shoes.


Doctor: What brings you here?
Patient: My car hahaha.
Doctor: *writing in chart* not sexually active.