4352 - Saturday jokes

An unpaid internship is nothing like actual slavery
Slaves are given food and housing.


I bought a theremin.
But I haven’t touched it in years.


I named my eraser Confidence.
Because it gets smaller after every mistake I make.


A priest has a heart attack and is rushed to the hospital. He wakes up as he's being wheeled through the hospital on a gurney by two nurses.
"Am I in heaven?" asks the disoriented priest.
"No," says one of the nurses. "We're just taking a short cut through the children's ward".


If someone stole a Tesla...
Would it be called an Edison?


College girl visits the doctor for an exam...
Doctor: "Take off your blouse and bra."
So the girl complies and there is an imprint of a T on her chest.
The doctor says: "What caused this?"
Girl: "Well my boyfriend goes to Texas University and likes to wear his letter jacket when we make love."
Doctor: "Ok you're finished, send in the next girl".
Next girl comes in and the doctor says the same.
"Take off your blouse and bra".
Sure enough, there is an imprint of a U on her chest.
The doctor says, "What caused this?"
Girl: "Well my boyfriend goes to the University of Utah and likes to wear his letter jacket when we make love"
Doctor: "Sounds about right, ok you're done, send in the next girl"
The girl comes in and removes her blouse and bra. This time there is an imprint of an M on her chest.
The doctor says: "Let me guess, your boyfriend goes to the University of Michigan right?"
Girl: "No doctor, but I have a girlfriend that goes to the University of Wisconsin."


A feminist told me about the "Dwayne Johnson Rule."
The rule, as she explained it, was that in order to determine if a particular comment was appropriate to say to a woman, first ask yourself, 'Would I be comfortable saying this to Dwayne Johnson?' If not, don't say it.
I thought this sounded like a good rule. So I told her: "Your chest is amazing."


A man went into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide.
The librarian said, "I'm sorry but they've all been checked out and never returned."


Just found out that cockfighting is done with roosters.
That's 27 years of rigorous training straight down the drain.


On this international women’s day, I would like to say to all women everywhere,
Thank you for your cervix.


A celebrity from the capital of Taiwan would be a Type-A Personality.