Sunday, August 23, 2020

4881 - Long joke Sunday

I don't know if this is a joke or if this really happened, but I may try this...


I had a call from a scammer the other day...

Me: “Hello.”

NOT - Microsoft support: “Hello. This is Bob Bobson from Microsoft Support. We are seeing a lot of virus activity from your device.”

Me: “Oh no. My device? Are you sure?”

NOT-Microsoft support: “Oh yes, we have many reports.”

Me: “Oh jeez. How can I fix it?”

NOT-Microsoft support: “It’s OK sir. We can help you right now. Are you in front of your device sir?”

Me: “Yes. I was just about to use it. I’m glad you called.”

NOT-Microsoft support: “Yes sir, we are going to help you. Can you please push the Start button?”

Me: “I think it's already on.”

NOT-Microsoft support: “Okay, sir. Now you want to click on Control Panel.”

Me: “I don’t see that.”

NOT-Microsoft support: “Do you see a bunch of information above the Start button?”

Me: “Yes.”

NOT-Microsoft support: “That is your Control Panel.”

Me: “Wow, I didn’t realize it had a name.”

NOT-Microsoft support: “Yes sir, now press on Internet Options.”

Me: “Yeah, I definitely don’t see any Internet options. I don’t think I purchased that feature. This is just a cheap one.”

NOT-Microsoft support: “They all have the Internet sir. Press the Start button again.”

Me: “OK, it’s the same as before.”

NOT-Microsoft support: “That’s OK sir. We are going to restart your device. Can you please turn it off?”

Me: “Ummm…I don’t know how. I’ve never turned it off. Since I bought it, it just kind of stays on all the time.”

NOT-Microsoft support: “There must be an off button on your device. How do you stop it when it’s running?”

Me: “In those cases, I usually press the big button.”

NOT-Microsoft support: “OK sir. Please press that button.”

Me: “Ok.”

NOT-Microsoft support: “Is your device off?”

Me: “No. The door popped open.”

NOT-Microsoft support: “Door? Is there a disc inside the door?”

Me: “No, there’s a burrito.”

NOT-Microsoft support: “Why is there a burrito in your computer?”

Me: “Computer? I thought you said this was microwave support.”


10 comments:

Elephant's Child said...

Love it.
I ask them to put their concerns in writing - and they hang up. Which I count as a win.

Mike said...

EC - That is a win.
I kept some gal from India on the line for 15 minutes one time before she gave up.

Kirk said...

Those virus-scammers leave me email but never call me at home, so here's hoping it's just a joke.

Mike said...

K - I get calls all the time Kirk. But I have a real telephone line.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

LOL!

Mike said...

DSWS - Have you got this memorized?

allenwoodhaven said...

Funny!!! Thanks for the laugh!

Mike said...

AW - You're going to do this, right?

Cloudia said...

Forehead slap

Mike said...

C - I love this.