Sunday, December 20, 2020

5002 - Long joke Sunday


The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers. A lady stood and walked to the podium. 

She said, "I have a praise. Two months ago, my husband Tom had a terrible bicycle wreck, and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't know if they could help him." 

You could hear a muffled gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagined the pain that Tom must have experienced. 

"Tom was unable to hold me or the children," she went on, "and every move caused him terrible pain. We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation, and it turned out they were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Tom's scrotum and wrap wire around it to hold it in place." 

Again the men in the congregation were unnerved and squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Tom. 

"Now," she announced in a quavering voice, "thank the Lord Tom is out of the hospital, and the doctors say that with time his scrotum should recover completely." 

All the men sighed with relief. 

The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say. 

A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium. 

He said, "I'm Tom." The entire congregation held its breath. "I just want to tell my wife that the word is sternum."


10 comments:

John A Hill said...

Well that's different.

Elephant's Child said...

I am quite sure that Tom (and all the men in the audience) would much prefer their sternum to be crushed than their scrotum.

Mike said...

JH - Just a little.

EC - Probably true.

Bilbo said...

I learn something new every day ... I always thought "sternum" was what witches were doing to their cauldrons while brewing potions.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Oh, this got a big laugh from me!

Mike said...

B - That's definition number 6 in the dictionary for that word.

DSWS - Two crushed nuts jokes in two days. I'm on a roll.

Shaw Kenawe said...

Sternum/Scrotum -- close enough

Mike said...

SK - Exactly. They're both in the front.

Cloudia said...

LOL

Mike said...

C - Thanks!