Queen Elizabeth and Dolly Parton die on the same day and they both go before an Angel to find out if they'll be admitted to Heaven.
Unfortunately, there's only one space left that day, so the Angel must decide which of them gets in.
The Angel asks Dolly if there's some particular reason why she should go to Heaven.
Dolly takes off her top and says, 'Look at these, they're the most perfect breasts God ever created, and I'm sure it will please God to be able to see them every day, for eternity.'
The Angel thanks Dolly, and asks Her Majesty the same question.
The Queen takes a bottle of Perrier out of her purse, drinks it down.
Then, pees into a toilet and pulls the lever.
The Angel says, 'OK, your Majesty, you may go in.'
Dolly is outraged and asks, 'What was that all about?
I show you two of God's own perfect creations and you turn me down.
She pees into a toilet and she gets in!'
Sorry, Dolly,' says the Angel, 'but even in Heaven, a Royal Flush beats a Pair. No matter how big they are.
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14 comments:
That is one of your best. Thanks.
Sue - Would you believe it took me 5 days to write this? No? Would you believe I found it after it was lost after 40 years? No? Let me get back to you.
An oldie, but still goodie. Dolly Parton was just made for jokes involving the word "pair."
THAT'S SO BAD! I feel guilty for laughing!
Bill - I'll have to oogle ... I mean Google more of them.
Deb - HA! No you don't!
Heh, heh, heh.
Pffft!!!
LOL!
PS I love Dolly.
Mike, presumably we are talking about the 18 year-old Dolly Parton from 1964 as opposed to the 75 year-old Dolly Parton from 2021, i could perhaps understand the Angels decision if it was the 75 year-old version (57 years past the absolute pinnacle and peak of her physical attractiveness and desirability) but if it was the 18 year-old version i dont see how the angel could`ve possibly given the nod to a 95 year-old slag instead (albeit the Queen of Anglo-Saxon-dom ! ?), especially when Dollys astonishing 18 year-old tits would`ve rivaled the astounding 17 year-old Pauline Hickeys tits for sheer breathtaking magnificence and Bombay-Roll-ability (as it were) ! ! !. BTW Mike, this was the most ludicrously contrived joke i`ve ever read.
Kirk - I wonder if the queen has heard this joke?
Cloudia - Pffft? I don't think passing gas would have won that contest.
Shaw - I think Dolly is a very authentic person.
LJ - I could redo the joke but Pauline would still lose. And this is the first time I've ever had the words 'ludicrously contrived' mentioned in a post or comment.
Mike, "Ludicrous" is my third favourite word (after "Pauline" and "Hickey", obviously ! ! !) because it so beautifully describes and defines virtually every aspect of the surreal and bizarre world around me.
LJ - VHS Price: 9,95 €
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Vincent Price = Witchfinder General = that gorgeous bird in the tavern with big knockers = Bombay-Rolling the bird senseless all night long.
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