Sunday, February 21, 2021

5065 - Long joke Sunday

Several stories/jokes about the same subject. Who knows if these are true or not. But it's easy to see them happening these days.


I was at the checkout of a local Walmart.
The cashier rang up $46.64 charges.
I gave her a fifty dollar bill. She gave me back $46.64.
I gave the money back to her and told her that she
had made a mistake in MY favor.
She became indignant and informed me she was educated and
knew what she was doing, and she returned the money again.
I gave her the money back -- same scenario!
I departed the store with the $46.64.
They Walk Among Us! .....

I walked into a Starbucks with a
buy-one-get-one-free coupon for a Grande Latte.
I handed it to the girl and she looked over at
a little chalkboard that said 'buy one get one free.'
"They're already buy one get one free," she said,
"so I guess they're both free."
She handed me my free lattes, and I walked out the door.
They Walk Among Us! .....

One day I was walking down the beach with some friends,
when one of them shouted, "Look at that dead bird!"
Someone looked up at the sky and asked, "Where?"
They Walk Among Us! .....

While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent
which direction was north; because, he explained,
he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning.
She asked, "Does the sunrise in the north?"
When my brother explained that the sun rises in the East,
and has for some time; she shook her head and said,
"Oh, I don't keep up with all that stuff."
They Walk Among Us!! .....

I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center.
One day I got a call from an individual who asked
what hours the call center was open.
I told him, "The number you dialed is open
24 hours a day, 7 days a week."
He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?"
Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, "Uh, Pacific."
They Walk Among Us! .....

My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car
designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped.
She keeps it in the trunk.
They Walk Among Us! .....

My friends and I went out to buy beer and noticed
that the cases were discounted 10%.
Since it was a big party, we bought two cases.
The cashier multiplied two times 10%
and gave us a 20% discount.
They Walk Among Us! .....

I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area,
so I went to the lost luggage office and
told the woman there that my bags never showed up.
She smiled and told me not to worry because
she was a trained professional, and I was in good hands.
"Now," she asked me, "has your plane arrived yet?"
So I replied, "No Ma'am, The Pilot told us we're circling the airport, 3rd in line to land" .....
They Walk Among Us! .....

While working at a pizza place, I observed
a man ordering a small pizza to go.
He appeared to be alone, and the cook asked him
if he would like it cut into four pieces or six.
He thought about it for some time before responding.
"Just cut it into four pieces.
I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat six pieces."
They Walk Among Us! .....


11 comments:

Elephant's Child said...

Sadly they could all be true (though I doubt it).
They do indeed walk among us - and sometimes all of us walk with them.

Cloudia said...

Yup

Mike said...

Sue - And though I walk through the valley of clueless...

Cloudia - I don't know if any of these people rise to the level of stupid.

Bilbo said...

It would make it almost worth it to go to Walmart.

balanced a.f. said...

Oh, they do walk among us indeed. These are a riot, and my favorite is the dead bird one.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

"Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff," LOL!

Mike said...

Bill - The trick would be finding the cashier that's pissed off at the Waltons.

BAF - Look! Up in the sky! It's a plane, it's Superman, NO it's DEADBIRD!

Deb - The moral. Take a compass with you when buying a house.

Shaw Kenawe said...

"Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff." Hilarious AND I totally believe that one.

I worked in Human Resources, and the head of the department asked an employee where he was going on vacation. He told her he was going to New Mexico. The employee left and the head of the department turned to me, squinted her eyes and said, "I've heard of Mexico, but I never heard of NEW Mexico."

I told her it was a southwestern state between Texas and Arizona, and asked, "Didn't you study that in school?"

"Oh, she said," waving her hand in the air, "I was never good at history."

True story.

Mike said...

Shaw - I could just add that to the bottom of the post. It would fit right in.

Kathy G said...

I don't have one of those fancy lifesaving tools, but if I did the first place I would think to store it would be in the trunk, where it would be out of the way. I walk among you :-)

Mike said...

Kathy - Ha! :)