Sunday, May 15, 2022

5516 - Long joke Sunday


A man walked out to the street and caught a taxi. 

He got into the taxi, and the cabbie said, "Perfect timing. You're just like Brian" 

Passenger: "Who?" 
 
Cabbie: "Brian. He's a guy who did everything right all the time. 

Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happen like that to Brian, every single time." 

Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody." 
 
Cabbie: "Not Brian. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand Slam in tennis. 

He could golf with the pros. 

He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. 

He was an amazing guy." 

Passenger: "Sounds like he was something extraordinary." 

Cabbie: "There's more. He had a memory like a computer. 

He remembered everybody's birthday. 

He knew all about wine, which foods to order, and which fork to eat them with. 

He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. 

But Brian, he could do everything right." 

Passenger: "Wow. Some guy then." 

Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. 

Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. 

But Brian never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. 

He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong, and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too. 

He was the perfect man! 

He never made a mistake. 

No one could ever measure up to Brian." 
 
Passenger: "An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?"
 
Cabbie: "Well, I never actually met Brian. He died. I'm married to his widow."


14 comments:

Elephant's Child said...

Ouch.
I wonder who Brian heard all about...

Mike said...

Sue - True. We don't know if Brian was the first. Or how many before him killed themselves.

River said...

HaHaHaHa, this is funny.

Mike said...

River - The cabbie needs to bail out.

Bilbo said...

So are a lot of other guys.

Kirk said...

Perfect as he may be, Brian may end up being a posthumous homewrecker.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Hahahahahahahaha!

John A Hill said...

Hahaha

Mike said...

Bill - Are YOU the perfect man?! Is Agnes' next husband going to have to live up to an impossible standard? You need to start making more mistakes to help him out.

Kirk - Absolutely!

Deb - 😂

John - 😄

Kathy G said...

Always a good one.

Mike said...

Kathy - Hopefully I won't run out.

Kathy G said...

There's a finite amount of jokes out there (I posted this same one last August, but my "perfect guy" was Andy.) However, funny is funny no matter what.

allenwoodhaven said...

Good one! I'd forgotten it so thanks for the reminder.

Mike said...

Allen - There's 20 year olds out that haven't heard it. Go find them!