Here’s how different religions might relate to baseball.
Calvinists believe the game is fixed.
Lutherans believe they can't win but trust the Scorekeeper.
Quakers won't swing.
Unitarians can catch anything.
Amish walk a lot.
Pagans sacrifice.
Catholics feel guilty about stealing bases.
Jews always expect to lose and get nervous when they don’t.
Jehovah's Witnesses are thrown out often.
Christian Scientists play when injured.
Televangelists get caught stealing.
Buddhists spend all their time getting ready for the next game.
Episcopalians pass the plate.
Methodists want to rewrite the rules.
Muslims won’t play by any rules but their own and must travel to Cooperstown at least once.
Evangelicals make effective pitches.
Fundamentalists balk.
Hindus refuse to kill the umpire because he might be a relative.
Fundamentalist Mormons are in right field.
Dunkers are down by three.
Adventists have a seventh-inning stretch.
Atheists refuse to have an umpire.
Agnostics will play, but don’t know whether or not to accept the authority of the umpire.
Baptists want to play hardball.
Premillennialists expect the game to be called soon on account of darkness.
The Pope claims never to have committed an error.
Now, go out and play ball. Faithfully.
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10 comments:
And this agnostic (with atheistic leanings) doesn't understand the rules and isn't interested.
What's baseball?
Sue - I heard that a curve ball curves in the opposite direction in the Southern Hemisphere.
River - It's only the BEST system to extract money from the most people right after religion.
I think the Elephant's Child and I must be related.
And the Protestants object to their uncles' wives.
Some good insight.
Now that's the kind of baseball philosophy I understand. Finally!
LOL!
Hey, thought of another one for followers of the Flying Spaghetti Monster -- "Pastafarians carb-load before the game"
Bill - I'll have to check and see if she's OK with that.
Stu - Leviticus 20:20-21 was the closest I could find for your reference.
John - 26 religions down, 4000 more to go.
Shaw - This could be the beginning of basaballism.
Deb - I also noticed the Pastafarians were missing.
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