To the kids who TP'd my house...
I LOVE YOU
-- I love your drive and resilience
-- I love you're off your phones and in nature
-- I love your never say quit attitude
-- I love you're doing adventures instead of watching adventures
-- I love that you desire to improve
-- I love your generosity in sharing expensive toilet paper
-- I love the commitment to excellence
-- I love that you put down TikTok for a few hours
-- I love you targeted us when it was raining (well played)
-- I love you didn't leave full TP rolls lying around (nice use of resources)
HOWEVER...
-- Your execution continues to be poor
-- You continue to not follow directions (you were supposed to ask for help)
-- You are lacking leadership (who was in charge?)
-- You stopped before the job was finished (never stop)
-- You targeted us when no one was home (you need better reconnaissance)
SO...
I have included some visual instructions for you for next time. The RED shows where you need to target. Make sure to unroll some TP before tossing the roll high.
The YELLOW represents the attack formation. You need to have a game plan with each soldier who knows their assignment. Use hand signals and be stealthy.
Also, you should have realized I don't have a RING or any cameras, so visually you are fine...it's the noise that will cause you problems. Use AirPods and FaceTime in a group chat to coordinate positions and attack timing.
If you fail to plan, plan on failing.
This continues to be SHODDY WORK! But, I appreciate you continuing to improve. Keep up the good work.
Soon you will get as good as my generation. We would have been embarrassed to leave such a clean mess. More TP. More people. More coordination. BURY THE HOUSE IN TP!
Ask your parents...we took pride in EPIC TP battles...
I have hope for your generation...just listen more to your parents...we've been where you want to go!
Now I am off to coordinate the cleanup...THANK YOU for continuing to bring JOY into the world.
Keep going. Don't quit. You can do this! I believe in you.
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9 comments:
That TP caper seems to be entirely an American thing. I've never seen it out here. I don't think anyone would want to waste expensive TP on such a thing. Or even cheap TP.
Not something I have ever seen here.
River - I have to run some ads in your local paper.
Sue - Nation wide ads!
As a former plans officer in the Air Force, I endorse this planning effort, although it lacks detailed guidance on logistics (amount of TP needed, procedures for acquiring it and transporting it to the location of the attack). Good first effort, though.
There's always room for improvement!
Bill - My daughter and friends engaged in epic TP battles.
Deb - This usually means more TP.
I also saw this on Facebook this morning :-)
Thanks Mike
Kathy - I think that's where I got it. Do you have anyone you need to TP? I'll come and help.
Cloudia - Nie ma za co
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