5747 = HNY! and Long Joke Sunday

The ladies at church loved to cook and to bake

Using internet recipes for cookies and cake

So, granny got a laptop to join in the fun

To search for new recipes for hot rolls and buns

I got her set up, and I got her online

Right up to that point, everything was just fine

Taught grandma the basics, how to email her pastor

Then left her alone, not expecting disaster

But late in the evening, I heard granny SQUEAL!

I raced to her room, as she WOOHOOED! with zeal!

I couldn’t imagine what had her excited

But then I saw why the old girl was delighted!

While happily looking for a new recipe

Grandma saw something that she shouldn’t see

Innocently typing in - JUICY HOT BUNS

Pulled up a website touting “FUN” by the tons!

It contained ADULT CONTENT!!! But temptation was greater

Granny would snoop NOW and then repent LATER!

Not heeding the warnings, she was clicking away

For HER- the church ladies would soon have to pray

What granny was seeing was not food related

This was X-rated! She was now captivated!

Certainly, no recipes for buns could be found

This was where people were fooling around!!!

It showed a hot couple, but this wasn’t romance

It was more of a slow dance without any pants!

Grandma wasn’t looking at how to cook food

She was getting an eyeful of a buck-naked dude!!!

“Lord have Mercy!!!” She screeched with a shock

Her breathing turned heavy. She wanted to gawk!

Straining to see, dear granny was grinning

Never in her life had she seen so much sinning!

She exclaimed with disgust, “This is just sick!”

But her face lit up as she continued to click

Moving the cursor as fast as she could

Forgiveness she’d seek – for not being good!

My sweet little grandmother, so bashful and shy

Stared at her laptop, a gleam in her eye

Because she was old enough to be an antique

She was squinting through cataracts –

As she took a LONG PEEK!!!

Then suddenly, she howled -

“Oh! Jiminy Christmas! Can you believe that?”

“He’s not wearing a thing! Just a big cowboy hat!”

“And he’s got a lasso! Look out for that noose!”

She was getting her jollies watching his bare caboose!

But when the nude cowboy started spinning his lasso

Granny’s dentures popped out!!! What a fiasco!

Grabbing her choppers, she’d had quite a thrill

Crying out -

“That cowboy must have taken the magic BLUE PILL!”

That’s when I turned, and I walked out the door

I’d now seen enough - did not want to see more

But as I strolled down the hallway, I heard grandma HOOT –

“YIPPEE! Ride ‘em cowboy! Use your lasso! WOOT WOOT!!!”