Sunday, January 07, 2024

6118 - Long joke Sunday


So I am at Walmart scanning and bagging my almost $300 worth of groceries while the employee that wants $15 an hour "monitors" and then this happened.
Her - why are you double bagging all of your groceries?
Me - excuse me?
Her - you are wasting our bags!
Me - if you don't like the way I'm bagging the groceries, feel free to come on over here and bag them yourself.
Her - that's not my job!
Me - okay, then I will bag my groceries how I please if that's all right with you.
Her - why are you using two bags?!
Me - because the bags are weak and I don't want the handles to break or the bottoms to rip out.
Her - well that's because you are putting too much stuff in the bag. If you took half of that stuff out and put it in a different bag then you wouldn't need to double bag.
*10 seconds of me just staring at her.
Me - so you want me to split these items in half and put half of them in a different bag so that I don't have to double bag.
Her - exactly.
Me - so I would still be using two bags to hold the same number of items.
Her - no because you wouldn't be double bagging.
*me pressing two fingers to my left eye in an attempt to make it stop twitching.
Me - okay so here I have a jug of milk and a bottle of juice double bagged. If I take the milk out and remove the double bagging and just put the milk in the single bag and the juice in that single bag I'm still using two bags for these two items.
Her- no because you are not double bagging them so it's not the same number of bags.
*me looking around at about 10 other customers who at this point are enjoying the show.
Me- is this like that Common Core math stuff I keep hearing about?
Her- never mind you just don't get it.
And with that, she went back to her little Podium so she could continue texting or playing games on her phone or whatever it was she was doing before she decided to come over and critique my bagging skills.


16 comments:

Elephant's Child said...

Sigh.
And last week I put a script in to be filled, and said I just wanted the stronger script of the two listed. One was O.1 micrograms and the other 0.05. You guessed it. Five is bigger than one.

Mike said...

Sue - 😆

Kirk said...

You were wasting bags, and she was wasting time.

Mike said...

Kirk - She was a bag. And a waste of one at that.

Bilbo said...

Ah, the joys of self-checkout!

gluten Free A_Z Blog said...

Twenty years ago I would have thought you were making this up.. but with today's younger generation - they don't have a clue..

Cloudia said...

I'm all out of exasperation. Now. I just feel sympathy for them and for you. What are you going to do? I know it's so absurd. Aloha, Mike

Cloudia said...

Slapping my forehead!

Mike said...

Bill - That's why I never use it.

GFAZ - It's sad.

Cloudia - 🤦‍♂️ Me too.

Kathy G said...

This joke is always a head scratcher.

For the most part my grocery store runs are pretty small, so even at the self checkout I bring and and use my own bags. There have been a couple of checkout monitors that have given me the stink eye, but they're easy to ignore.

Lady M said...

We don't use plastic bags in Colorado any longer - so either bring your totes or pay for paper bags.

Margaret (Peggy or Peg too) said...

Sadly this does not surprise me if real.she voted for trump too

Mike said...

Kathy - The stink eye could come from them thinking you stealing something. I've read stories about people being accused of theft just because they did something wrong at the self-checkout.

Lady - I live in a red state so that's not going to happen here anytime soon.

Peg - Sadly agree.

River said...

EC!! I can't believe that happened right here in Australia! I am so ashamed for whichever school passed that student year after year.
Ditto all the Americans who get it so wrong so often.
School curriculums aren't what they used to be, with emphasis on math and reading/spelling. Now I know there are Americans who DO get it right and I'm happy for them, but I despair at the numbers I read about online who need to go all the way back to first grade.

Bohemian said...

Hilariously accurate tho'... I once had a Panda Express Employee Genius tell me that they had to put my Large paid for Order in a Small Container and when I protested, since, I'd paid for a Large Family Size portion and not a Small portion, tried to tell me I'd get MORE in the Small Container than in the Large... her Manageress agreed... you can't fix Stupid, they were dead Serious.

Mike said...

River - I always have to remind myself that the numbers in the news are there because they are sensational and not the norm.

Dawn - I would have made them pour the small into the large to prove it.