Tuesday, July 26, 2011

1591 - Not again!

I don't think I've repeated any punnys here.

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What is the difference between a nicely dressed man on a tricycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle? A tire.

The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

The frustrated cannibal threw up his hands.

Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat says to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a head.'.

The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I'm OK, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside.

Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.

I get my large circumference from too much pi.

The magician got so mad he pulled his hare out.

I decided that becoming a vegetarian was a missed steak.

Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.

I've been to the dentist several times so I know the drill.

The one who invented the door knocker got a No-bell prize.

I like European food so I decided to Russia over there because I was Hungary. After Czech'ing the menu I ordered Turkey. When I was Finnished I told the waiter 'Spain good but there is Norway I could eat another bite'.

I could not pull out of my parking space, so I used my back up plan.

It is tough to do inventories in Afghanistan because of the tally ban.

 

7 comments:

Claudia said...

OMG! What will you do for an encore??? All your most masochistic fans will be screaming for more punishment! I can hear them now, groaning in ecstacy..."Please, please, don't stop. More agony, more agony!!!"

Bilbo said...

Tally ban?

AAAAAUUUUUGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!

Mike said...

C - I'm not done yet.

B - Yes that was an exceptional one wasn't it?

Dianne said...

you're killin' me!!

Mike said...

D - I've found a limitless supply of these things.

Candice said...

Good ones!

Mike said...

C - I'd add them all up for you but there is a tally ban.