604 - Email jokes, part 604

Ever wondered what happens when Hallmark writers are having a bad day....

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My tire was thumping,

I thought it was flat.

When I looked at the tire...

I noticed your cat.

Sorry!

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Heard your wife left you,

How upset you must be.

But don't fret about it...

She moved in with me.

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Looking back over the years

that we've been together,

I can't help but wonder...

'What the Hell was I thinking?'

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Congratulations on your wedding day!

Too bad no one likes your husband.

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I've always wanted to have

someone to hold,

someone to love.

After having met you ..

I've changed my mind.

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I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.

I never believed in Hell until I met you.

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As the wonderful days go by, I think of how lucky I am....

That you're not here to ruin them for me.

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Congratulations on your promotion.

Before you go...

Would you like to take this knife out of my back?

You'll probably need it again.

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Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!

(Available only in Tennessee, Arkansas , Kentucky & West Virginia , Mississippi , Florida )

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When we were together,

you always said you'd die for me.

Now that we've broken up,

I think it's time you kept your promise.

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We have been friends for a very long time ...

let's say we stop.

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I'm so miserable without you,

it's almost like you're here.

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So your daughter's a hooker,

and it spoiled your day.

Look at the bright side,

it's really good pay

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