Friday, January 09, 2009

665 - The late night crowd

Remember the link to Late Night Political Jokes? Sure you do. Well if you don't, here's some of the jokes I think are some of the better ones from the last few days.



"The United States Army announced that they will accept overweight recruits. So now when a soldier is AWOL, it means he's 'at Wendy's ordering lunch'." --David Letterman

"You know that you're an overweight recruit in the Army when you see a Domino's guy crawl into your foxhole." --David Letterman

"You know, President Bush keeps giving interviews about his eight years as president. Earlier this week, he said his greatest accomplishment ... was his effort to privatize Social Security, even though he never actually did it. That's President Bush. Isn't it? Your greatest accomplishment? Well, there aren't any. But if there were, by golly, here's what it would be." --Jay Leno

"The Secret Service has unveiled a new state-of-the-art limousine for Barack Obama. A million dollars for this state-art-limousine. Meanwhile, today, John McCain closed a deal on a used LeSabre. But the limousine is massive. It's a three ton, it's a tank-like vehicle, or, as GM calls it, it's a compact." --David Letterman

"Hey, did you see this in the paper? In an interview with the Washington Times, Vice President Dick Cheney said he is not a big fan of rap music. You could have knocked me over with a feather. I was stunned by that. Actually, I'm surprised. I mean, look at the guy. He gets driven around in a limo, surrounded by bodyguards, shot a guy in the face -- he IS a rap star." --Jay Leno

"I love this part. He (Burris) was turned away because they said he didn't meet the high standards of the Senate. Gee. I wonder which senator turned him down. Do you think it was the one who embezzled the money? Maybe it was the one that got caught with the hooker? I know, I'll bet it was the one caught fornicating near the urinal in the airport bathroom. That was the one, exactly." --Jay Leno

"Earlier today, Barack Obama's daughters started at their new school in Washington, DC. Yeah, their teachers are really impressed and said that both girls are already reading well above President Bush level." --Conan O'Brien

"And Congress says this week they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. So the guy that made $50 billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $750 billion disappear." --Jay Leno

And I found this boob video. It only sets the womens movement back about 10 years. Not too bad.

7 comments:

Bilbo said...

"...the guy that made $50 billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $750 billion disappear." HAR, DE HAR-HAR-HAR!! Loved the video...from a lighting and professional videographic standards perspective, of course. The French are good for something.

The Mistress of the Dark said...

Uh the President Bush level? So basically that means they know how to read!

Amanda said...

All too funny! I'm just sitting here shaking my head at all the jokes out there about President Bush.

fiona said...

Jokes great, but the "boob" video!
I would have aced that game,with my boob ballast. Sometimes "long" just works!

Anonymous said...

I think there is a boob war between you and Bilbo.....from the actual real wonderments to the politians and others who behave as one.

Bilbo said...

Bandit - if there's going to be a boob war between Mike and I, I want to be able to design the breastworks.

Fiona - let me know when you are on the show so I can set my recorder.

Mike said...

If there's going to be a boob war I want to be right in the middle of it.