685 - Jokes from the net

After I posted last night I was wandering around the net and found a few joke sites. Here's some of the tech jokes that I thought were kind of funny.

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Most people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.


I talk on my cell phone all the time, so much I think it's ruined my social skills, like when I'm not even on the phone. I don't even say goodbye anymore. I end every conversation with 'I can't hear you.'


Q: What is the difference between sex and computers?
A: With computers, the software goes into the hardware.


(More computer humor)
486: The average IQ needed to understand a PC.
State-of-the-art: Any computer you can't afford.
Obsolete: Any computer you own.
Microsecond: The time it takes for your state-of-the-art computer to become obsolete.
G3: Apple's new Macs that make you say 'Gee, three times faster than the computer I bought for the same price a Microsecond ago.'
Syntax Error: Walking into a computer store and saying, "Hi, I want to buy a computer and money is no object."
Hard Drive: The sales technique employed by computer salesmen, esp. after a Syntax Error.
GUI: What your computer becomes after spilling your coffee on it.
Keyboard: The standard way to generate computer errors.
Mouse: An advanced input device to make computer errors easier to generate.
Floppy: The state of your wallet after purchasing a computer.
Portable Computer: A device invented to force people to work at home, on vacation, and on business trips.
Disk Crash: A typical computer response to any critical deadline.
Power User: Anyone who can format a disk from DOS.
System Update: A quick method of trashing ALL of your software.


A blond gets a new cell phone from her husband.
The next day she goes to Wal-mart and her phone rings, so she answers it.
It was her husband. He says, "How's the new cell phone?"
She replied, "Great...but how did you know I was at Wal-mart?"


That porno spam is bad stuff, boy, because I want to delete it, but it's almost like they have a chip in my head or something. Because I get these emails -- they're like: 'Do you like hot, young girls in thigh-high stockings?' Yeah. 'Do you have a credit card?' I sure do. 'Do you want to add three inches onto your penis?' Who's been reading my diary?


I found my girlfriend's vibrator. Oh my God -- it was the size of my arm. I was like, 'What are you doing when I'm not here?' She goes, 'Don't worry, I think about you when I use it.' I was like, 'What am I doing -- working the crane that lowers you onto it?'


(and then this one really makes a point)
I love text messaging (or blogging) because I love any form of one-sided non-verbal communication. I like to give people information, and then they've got to deal with it.