Jeff Foxworthy has been to St. Louis many times. I don't know if he actually said these things but I'm sure he's got a special routine for every city he visits. Here's what he(?) said and (my comments).
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What Jeff Foxworthy has to say about St. Louis -
If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you might live in St. Louis. (Been there done that. And in the summer if you walk around with a tape measure on your belt, people automatically assume you work there.)
If someone mentions "The Landing" and it has nothing to do with the space shuttle, you might live in St. Louis. (Laclede's Landing is an area on the river front)
If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you might live in St. Louis. (Don't do it but see it all the time.)
If you've seen a tornado touchdown and ONLY thought "Darn it, I just waxed the car," you might live in St. Louis. (Lot's of tornado warnings here. Never seen one, but I keep trying.)
If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you might live in St. Louis. (Know someone - me "Who was that?" other person "Oh it was a wrong number")
If you measure distance in hours (minutes) instead of miles, you might live in St. Louis. (yep, I could get from my house to my desk, downtown, in 25 minutes)
If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C' in the same day and back again, you might live in St. Louis. (yep)
If you drive 75 miles through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard for some White Castles, you might live in St. Louis. (and???)
If you carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you might live in St. Louis. (no and no)
If you take I-Farty-Far to Six Flags, you might live in St. Louis. (That's West County talk. I live in South County)(more St. Louis talk, sevendy, chipplwa, zink and warsh) ( you warsh your dishes in the zink)
If someone says concrete and you think of Ted Drewes instead of pavement, you might live in St. Louis. (and???)
If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you might live in St. Louis. (yep)
If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph -- you're going 80 and everybody is passing you, you might live in St. Louis. (in rush hour - slow lane - 25, fast lane - get the hell outa' the way)
If you've ever skipped school, work, or even a court-date because you had tickets to an afternoon Cards, Blues or Rams game, you might live in St. Louis. (no comment)
If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, you might live in St. Louis. (depends on what part of the area you're in)
If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction, you might live in St. Louis. (spring and fall are short lived around here. Or they come and go.)
If you find 10 degrees a little 'chilly', you might live in St. Louis. (Yeah but it doesn't stick around long.)
If you can say the words "Cahokia Mounds" and not think of a candy bar or boobies, you might live in St. Louis. (One of these days I'm going to go there. And I've never thought about it like that. But now that you mention it.....)
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7 comments:
Ted Drewe's, White Castle and skipping work to go to a Cardinal Game...can life get any better?
wv: amart..an early predecessor to Kmart.
Well I obviously don't live in St Louis. I even need to look up the map to see where it is after I post my comment. And now, my impression of the place is going to be according to what you've just posted :)
funny stuff!!!!!!!
I liked your commentary for folks that don't lve in the area.
When you said no comment on skipping work to go to a game, you were pleading the 5th.
People "warsh" dishes in Pittsburgh, too. We also "red up" the house when it's messy. And you want potholes? Back home, we had potholes that actually ate small cars. Rege Cordic, my all-time favorite radio announcer - one year sold pothole seeds as a promotion on his show. You had to laugh or you'd cry.
vw - derop: what Tattoo used to shout on Fantasy Island when he needed something to tie something else up with.
I think I need to come visit you.
wv - mersho - a female horse sitcom
You may never have seen a tornado, but you were an amazing amount of help in the aftermath of the one that ripped through here in the spring of 1974. That's the one that took out all the windows on the back of my parents' house, and you helped board the holes up that were left by the damaging winds. In fact, you got to the house before Dad did. That sealed the deal for your approval from Mom and Dad, you lucky guy!
I think there's one of these floating around for Pittsburgh too :)
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