1011 - Jokes

First, if you missed post 1008 it's too late. They took it off Youtube. I guess it was getting too many hits.

So here's some jokes. I really had to put some work into these suckers because people told them to me. No cut and paste. Bummer.


A guys in a bar and a sexy slinky woman comes up to him. She leans over to him and says, "I'll do anything for 100 dollars". The guy says, "ANYTHING?" "Yep", she says, "anything you want". The guy thinks for a few seconds and says, "Paint my house".


It's around Christmas time and three guys wind up at the pearly gates together. St. Peter says, "Before you can come in you each have to come up with something that's on you that reminds you of the season. The first guy whips out a set of keys and jingles them. "These are like bells", he says. "Go on in", says St. Peter. The second guy pulls out a mini flashlight and says, "This is like the shining guiding star that was in the sky". "Go on in", says St. Peter. The third guy's getting desperate. He's thinking as hard as he can. Then it comes to him. He sticks his hand in his pocket and whips out a pair of women's underware. He says, "These are carols".


A guy goes to his doctor for his yearly exam. He's in the exam room talking to the doctor. The doctor says,"You're going to have to stop masturbating". The guy says, "Why, I thought that was good for you". The doctor says, "I know, but I want to start your exam now".