I need funny today.
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1 - Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
2 - He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
3 - Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
4 - Those who live by the sword, get shot by those who don't.
5 - Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
6 - The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
7 - If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog.
8 - The things that come to those who wait will be the things left by those who got there first.
9 - Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day, drinking beer.
10 - The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
10a - The ankle bone is for finding dogs in a dark hallway.
11 - A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
12 - When you go into Court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
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4 comments:
Build a man a fire and he'll be warm for the night.
Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life!
#6 is the best and most true one of the bunch :)
Ha. I swear to God...Our coffee table was somehow programmed to attack our feet, ankles, and shins. Dark or not. Cheers Mike!!
These are funny. I just read Bilbo's post and began wondering about how you treat sexual addiction. Is it like being addicted to drugs where there is a slow withdrawing period or tapering off?
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