Here's some tax tips for the terminally bored. Go ahead and try one or two. You can thank me later.
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1. Always put staples in the right hand corner. For that matter, go ahead and put them on the entire right side of the page. The extractors who remove the mail from the envelopes have to take out any staples in the right side.
2. Never arrange paperwork in the right order, or even facing the right way. Put a few upside down and backwards. That way they have to remove all your staples rearrange your paperwork and re-staple it (on the left side).
3. Line the bottom of your envelope with Elmer's glue and let it dry before you put in your forms, so that the automated opener doesn't open it and the extractor has to open it by hand.
4. If you're very unfortunate and have to pay taxes use a two or three party check.
5. On top of paying with a three party check pay one of the dollars you owe in cash. When an extractor receives cash, no matter how small an amount, he has to take it to a special desk and fill out a few nasty forms.
6. Write a little letter of appreciation. Any letter received has to be read and stamped regardless of what it is or what its on.
7. Write your letter on something misshapen and unconventional. Like on the back of a Kroger sack.
8. When you mail it, mail it in a big envelope (even if its just a single EZi form). Big envelopes have to be torn and sorted differently than regular business size ones. An added bonus to the big envelope is that they take priority over other mail, so the workers can hurry up and deal with your mess.
9. If you send two checks they'll have to staple your unsightly envelope to your half destroyed form.
10. Always put extra paper clips on your forms. Any foreign fasteners or the like have to be removed and put away.
11. Sign your name in ink on every page. Any signature has to verified and then date stamped.
12. These are just a few of the fun and exciting things you can do with the tax man. These methods are only recommended when you OWE money.
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8 comments:
So now if I at least staple the form a few times on the right side, I can tell you that I'm legitimately working on our taxes. Works for me!
And I thought Bilbo was bold yesterday by taking on the females.
Haha. You're evil.
C - NO NO - We want the real thing.
B - I want YOU to do these. I didn't say I was going to do them.
C - I try.
Hahahahaha! I wish I read this before I submitted mine!
L - Resubmit. Surely you can find one math error you have to fix.
Wv: gensjb - waitress
LOL! I won't have fun like that....its electronic.
A - Turn one of the forms into a jpeg and flip it 180 degrees.
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