Tuesday, June 01, 2010

1165 - Police stuff

This has been making the rounds since 2004 from what I can tell. It's not on snopes but I did find it on a police site. So it may be true. But it is from the internet.



**The following were taken off of actual police car videos around the country. ***

#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."

#14 "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

#13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

#12 "Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? In case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9mm bullet fired from my gun."

#11 "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

#10 "Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor,! but I don't think it will help. Oh .. did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"

#9 "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

#8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

#7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey $#! *!."

#6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

#5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

#4 "Just how big were those two beers?"

#3 "No sir we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."

#2 "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."

#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? ... You're right, we don't. .... Sign here."




And as an aside - what are the chances? Of? Knowing two people that will be working on the gulf oil leak problem. My son-in-laws brother will be doing some mapping to track the oil spill. And my cousins' son will be working with the latest company to get involved with the remotes trying to cap the leak.

 

6 comments:

Schmoop said...

Ha. I dig Number 4. Cheers Mike!!

Bandit said...

#1 is cold. Can you see her claws coming out? Or maybe that "female dog" showing her teeth.

John A Hill said...

I like #7. It's an all purpose remark that parents can use to child, teachers to students, co-workers to complaining coworkers, etc.

Jay said...

What's more awesome than getting stopped for speeding? Getting a smart ass cop. haha

Mike said...

MM - It was just a couple of 40's officer!

B - Would you have liked to seen the look on her face though?

J - That one is a variation of "life's not fair".

J - These people got a little entertainment with their ticket.

Mike said...

What's one of my posts without a typo? Claudia just said "It's latest, not lastest."