Here's some odds and ends that have been sitting around.
During a recent password audit, it was found that this blonde was using the following password:
"MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento"
When asked why she had such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters long… and include at least one capital.
New Golf Lingo....
Some new lingo to use when you're out on the course...
A 'Rock Hudson' - a putt that looked straight, but wasn't
A 'Saddam Hussein' - from one bunker into another
A 'Yasser Arafat' - ugly and in the sand
A 'John Kennedy Jr.' - didn't quite make it over the water
A 'Rodney King' - over-clubbed
An 'OJ.'- got away with one
A 'Princess Grace' - should have used a driver
A 'Princess Di' - shouldn't have used the driver
A 'Condom' - safe, but didn't feel very good
A 'Brazilian' - shaved the hole
A 'Rush Limbaugh' - Way to the right and out of bounds
A 'Nancy Pelosi' - Way to the left and out of bounds
A 'James Joyce' - a putt that's impossible to read
A 'Ted Kennedy' - goes in the water and jumps out
A 'Pee Wee Herman' - too much wrist
A 'Sonny Bono' - straight into the trees
A 'Mickey Mantle' - a dead yank
A 'Paris Hilton' - a very expensive hole
A guy recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two visits and exhaustive Lab tests, the doc said he was doing 'fairly well' for his age. (just turned 60.) A little concerned about that comment, he couldn't resist asking the doc, 'Do you think I'll live to be 80?'
The doc asked, 'Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer or wine?'
'Oh no,' he replied.. 'I'm not doing drugs, either!'
Then the doc asked, 'Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?
'He said, 'Not much... My former doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!'
'Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?'
'No, I don't,' he said.
The doc asked, 'Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?'
'No,' he said.
The doc looked at him and said,... 'Then, why do you even give a shit?'
Posts
rEcess and More, a Ten Things of Thankful Post
34 minutes ago
3 comments:
Yup, who wants to live a long but dull life?!
I'm back here in Ipoh to visit my grandparents. One of them is 93 and when she asks for some fried lard with her rice...she can have as much as she wants. She also has bread with a healthy sprinkle of white sugar and condensed milk. ALL SORTS OF STUFF that are supposedly not good for you but if thats what makes her happy at that age then so why not?
Even so some of those golf terms are cold-hearted, they are hilarious.
A - I think you talked me into a steak today.
B - I just fixed one that needed fixing but I had missed it.
Post a Comment