This first one was from some of my republican friends. I fixed it.
The Police Department reports finding a man's body in the river near a park . The dead man's name will not be released until his family has been notified.
The victim apparently drowned due to excessive beer consumption. He was wearing black fishnet stockings, a red garter belt, a pink G-string, a strap-on dildo, purple lipstick, and an old Bush for President t-shirt. He also had a cucumber up his ass.
The police removed the old Bush t-shirt to spare his family any unnecessary embarrassment.
In spite of what we sometimes think, the police really do care.
This next one is Bandits fault.
A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students. "Human beings are the only animals that stutter," she said.
A little girl raises her hand. "I had a kitty-cat who stuttered."
The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident.
"Well," she began, "I was in the back yard with my kitty and the Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!"
"That must have been scary," said the teacher.
"It sure was," said the little girl. "My kitty raised her back, went "Ffffff!, Ffffff!, FfffffF, but before she could say "Fuck!," the Rottweiler ate her!
Heard in DC, ..... every day.
“I know you believe you understand what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.”
I totally might agree with what I think they are trying to say if I think what they are saying is what they said.
I almost forgot, I found this the other day.
I never realized that after Monday and Tuesday, the calendar says W T F.
 
Monday, July 19, 2010
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6 comments:
Ha. I dig the stuttering cat story. Cheers Mike!!
Say, what?
A stuttering cat would be pretty hilarious.
You have captured the D. C. vernacular.
good stuff
All - I fixed the kitty story too. It had a lead in line and an exit line that tried to make it sound like it really happened. I think it sounded better as a joke than a real story.
Wv: amlists - Lists of radio stations that really old people used to listen to.
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