The one good thing about getting old is you forget stuff. So old jokes become new again. I think these are new ..... maybe ..... probably not.
Everyone seems to offended easily these days....
So, the customer asked, "In what aisle could I find the Polish sausage?"
The clerk looks at him and says, "Are you Polish?"
The guy (clearly offended) says, "Well, yes I am. But let me ask you something. If I had asked for Italian sausage, would you ask me if I was Italian? Or if I had asked for German Bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German? Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish? Or if I had asked for a Taco, would you ask if I was Mexican?' If I asked for some Irish whiskey, would you ask if I was Irish?"
The clerk says, "Well, no, I probably wouldn't!"
With deep self-righteous indignation, the guy says,
"Well then, why did you ask me if I'm Polish because I asked for Polish sausage?"
The clerk replied, "Because you're in Home Depot".
Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter. The man at the counter asked the older boy, "Son, how old are you?"
"Eight," the boy replied.
The man continued, "do you know what these are used for?"
The boy replied, "not exactly, but they aren't for me. They're for him. He's my brother. He's four. We saw on TV that if you use these you would be able to swim and ride a bike. Right now, he can't do either."
George Bush, Queen Elizabeth, and Vladimir Putin all die and go to hell.
While there, they spy a red phone and ask what the phone is for. The
devil tells them it is for calling back to Earth.
Putin asks to call Russia and talks for 5 minutes. When he is
finished the devil informs him that the cost is a million dollars, so
Putin writes him a check.
Next Queen Elizabeth calls England and talks for 30 minutes. When she
is finished the devil informs her that the cost is 6 million dollars, so
she writes him a check.
Finally George Bush gets his turn and talks for 4 hours. When he is
finished the devil informs him that the cost is $5.00.
When Putin hears this he goes ballistic and asks the devil why Bush
got to call the USA so cheaply.
The devil smiles and replies: "When Bush took over, the US went to hell, so it's a local call."
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6 comments:
Ha. I dig the Polish Sausage joke. Have a wunnerful day Mike. Cheers!!
Love the Bush joke. I am a Bush basher so anytime someone makes fun of him I laugh.
Good stuff, Mike. Recycling is good!
As one recycler to another...good on 'ya.
vw: healt - what a Texan does when he gets over an injury: "Billy-Bob cut hisself, but it's all healt up now."
MM - I hope I didn't offend any polish people.
R - It was an Obama joke but I 'fixed' it.
J - Other people send me good stu... I mean I really had to look hard for those jokes.
B - I'd write my own jokes but then they would want me to go on tour and who would take care of the dog then?
Wv: prostomp - A little S&M from a paid professional.
The Bush joke made me laugh so hard I hurt myself.
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