I found these. The headline was "For Lexophiles (lovers of words)". I just call them bad puns. They were numbered. I thought I'd be contrary and letter them instead. This is about words after all.
So I spell checked this and guess what, lexophile is not a word. Not according to dictionary.com. So a word to describe word lovers is not a word. Only on the internet.
a. A bicycle can't stand alone because it is two-tired.
b. What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway.)
c. Time flies like an arrow -- Fruit flies like a banana.
d. A backward poet writes inverse.
e. In a democracy, it's your vote that counts; In feudalism, it's your count that votes.
f. If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.
g. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
h. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.
i. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
j. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
k. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blown apart.
l. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
m. He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
n. A lot of money is tainted. 'Taint yours and 'taint mine.
o. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
p. He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
q. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
r. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
s. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
t. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
u. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
v. Acupuncture is a jab well done.
w. Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.
x. An optometrist fell into a lens grinding machine and made a spectacle of himself.
Just stuff in my head today...
2 hours ago
8 comments:
Will these be on the test too? I like them very much...they're all sticking.
As the ailing butcher said as he was cranking out the sausage, "I've taken a turn for the wurst."
Then there was the story of the butcher who accidentally backed into the sausage grinder and got a little behind in his work.
Good one's. Gilahi too. M. is a takeoff of an old musician's joke. Why was the (fill in any musician here) knocking on his own front door?.....Couldn't find the key.
I just thought of a really bad one. A priest was chasing a boy in the church sanctuary and caught him by the organ.
A - Yes this will be on the test. Of course it will be an open browser test so you should do well.
G - You're offically assigned letters y and z.
B - Speaking of old musicians, how are you doing today?
B - If you're going to substitute teach you can't afford to even THINK things like that let alone say them.
i just reapeted a joke
you contrary? au contraire........
P is my favorite.
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