From the dog to God.
Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?
Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?
Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the "Chrysler Eagle" the "Chrysler Beagle"?
Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?
Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?
Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog:
1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.
2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
3. I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box, although they are tasty.
4. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
5. The sofa is not a 'face towel'. Neither are Mom and Dad's laps.
6. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
7. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
8. I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and registration.
9. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
10. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying "hello".
11. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table.
12.. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.
13. I will not throw up in the car.
14. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.
15. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when we have company.
16. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.
And, finally, my last question...
Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?
 
Oh Boy!
56 minutes ago
10 comments:
Funny dogs....
Um...did you purposely shrink all the posts on your main page?
True dat!
vw: sawamatt - ran into Marshall Dillon on the streets of Dodge.
LOL!!! These were great!
Funny
I believe that I should adhere to Rule #15 as well. It does make folks uncomfortable when I do it. Cheers Mike!!
Dogs always make these promises but never keep 'em. They have no self-control. But, they get away with it because they're dogs.
We were keeping the grand-dog when the cat was still alive. We knew he was eating tootsie rolls (Linda's term) when he had kitty litter all over his snout.
A - No shrinking on my end. Must be Blogger. It's been acting goofy again.
B - Dogs are fun.
MD - Yes indeed.
J - Yes indeed(2)
MM - You can do that?! I'm jealous.
J - I think I heard someone call you a dog. This could explain a lot.
B - Don't you sell doggy tootsie rolls at your shop?
I love this!! thanks for the laugh
D - My blog could turn into a dog blog with all the positive comments I got here.
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