1363 - Visit

I made a visit to "Not Always Right". Found a few good ones.


Seeing The Sun In A Whole New Light
Retail Narvik, Norway
(I work in a store, where a lot of tourists come through. A German motorcyclist couple are on their way up to the North Cape.)

Customer:“Oh, your country is so beautiful! We’re going all the way up to the North Cape on our motorcycle.”

Me: “Wow, how fun! Hope you get lucky with the weather then.”

Customer: “Thank you dear. Yes, we have always wanted to see the midnight sun. We have saved up for this trip for years.”

Me: “Well, then I really hope the weather gods are on your side. Would be a shame if it were all cloudy and grey when you get there.”

Customer: “Oh, they say the midnight sun is so bright, it’ll shine through just about anything when it comes up! Cant wait!”

Me: “When it comes up? The sun is up all the time now.”

Customer: “What? We’re here to see the midnight sun! You know, the one that shines at midnight?!”

Me: “Ma’am, the midnight sun is the sun. The only sun. Only difference is that its so high here up north that it never sets. It just circles around a little. Therefore we can see it at night.”

Customer: “What!” *she turns to her husband and rants in German* “Did you hear that? We’ve been ripped off! It’s the same sun as we have at home! And to think we came to this s*** expensive country, drove all the way, and it’s the same sun!?”

An Open And Shut Case
Tech Support Los Angeles, CA, USA
Me: “Hello, [Tech Support]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “I just got your wireless internet thingy, but I’m not sure I like it.”

Me: “What’s wrong with it?”

Caller: “Oh, nothing’s wrong with it. It’s much faster than my old internet; but do I always have to open my windows? I hate opening up the windows.”

Me: “What computer do you have?”

Caller: “I have a Mac.”

Me: “Then how do you–”

Caller: “Oh! No. Not that computer windows thing! I don’t have that! I mean my actual windows around my house!”

Me: “You’re… opening up you’re windows around your house?”

Caller: “Yes! And it’s really chilly today!”

Me: “Ma’am, I hate to interrupt, but why is this relevant to your internet problem?”

Caller: “Well, it’s wireless! It comes through the air, right? How else am I going to get it if the windows are closed?”

Close, But No Cinema
Movie Theater Atlanta, GA, USA
(I’m working the outside ticket counter and an elderly woman comes up to buy a ticket.)

Customer: “I want a ticket to see [movie].”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. That movie’s not showing here.”

Customer: “Yes, you do. I’d like a ticket, please.”

Me: “No, ma’am, we’re not showing that. Did you see it listed in the paper? Sometimes some of the titles get switched around.”

Customer: “No. I saw the commercial for it and it said it was ‘showing at a theater near you’, and this is the closest theater to my house!”

Can’t Keep A Good Waitress Down
Restaurant Baltimore, MD, USA
(I am working as a bartender at a restaurant. The waitress has added a 15% gratuity because the party has been large and difficult to deal with.)

Customer: “Miss? What’s this ‘gravity’ crap?! I ain’t paying for no ‘gravity!’”

Waitress: *without missing a beat* “Ma’am, that’s what holds the food to your plate.”

Customer: “Oh, alright then.” *pays the check*