1527 - Two jokes

The following is usually how life works.

In a small Texas town, a new tavern business started constructing a building in which to open up a bar. The local Baptist church began a campaign to block the bar from opening with petitions and prayers.

Work progressed, however right up until the week before opening, when lightning struck the bar and it burned to the ground.

The church folks were rather smug in their outlook until the bar owner sued the church on the grounds that the church was ultimately responsible for the destruction of his building, either through direct or indirect actions or means.

The church vehemently denied all responsibility or any connection to the building's demise in its reply to the court.

As the case made its way into court, the judge looked over the paperwork.

At the hearing he commented...........

"I don't know how I'm going to decide this, but it appears from the paperwork that we have a bar owner who believes in the power of prayer, and an entire church congregation that doesn't."


I think I remember writing some of these answers.

Answers from kids to science test questions:

Q: What is one horsepower?
A: One horsepower is the amount of energy it takes to drag a horse 500 feet in one second.

Q: How can one determine how close to them a lightening strike was?
A: You can listen to thunder after lightening and tell how close you came to getting hit. If you don't hear it you got hit, so never mind.

Q: What makes up molecules?
A: When they broke open molecules, they found they were only stuffed with atoms. But when they broke open atoms, they found them stuffed with explosions.

Q: What is an orbit?
A: When people run around and around in circles we say they are crazy. When planets do it we say they are orbiting.

Q: Is the sun a star?
A: Most books now say our sun is a star. But it still knows how to change back into a sun in the daytime.

Q: What is a vibration?
A: A vibration is a motion that cannot make up its mind which way it wants to go.

Q: What is a fossil?
A: Many dead animals of the past changed to fossils, others preferred to be oil.

Q: Define a vacuum.
A: Vacuums are nothings. We only mention them to let them know we know they're there.

Q: What is evaporation?
A: We say the cause of perfume disappearing is evaporation. Evaporation gets blamed for a lot of things people forget to put the top on.

Q: How are clouds formed?
A: I am not sure how clouds get formed. But the clouds know how to do it, and that is the important thing.

Q: What makes it rain?
A: Rain is saved up in cloud banks.

Q: What is the average temperature in the tropics?
A: It is so hot in some parts of the world that the people there have to live other places.