1664 - Monday

A few from Not Always Right....

Here's one for all the people that live in the East Coast.

Eyesight Only As Good As Hindsight, Part 2
Movie Theater | Massachusetts, USA | Movie Theater
(I’m a projectionist at a movie theater, so every once in a while, I have to deal with customer complaints. We have 3D movies that are extremely blurry if you don’t wear the glasses that we give you.)

Old woman: “Excuse me, I would like a refund.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, ma’am. What seems to be the problem?”

Old woman: *waving 3D glasses at me* “I don’t know how much extra I paid for these stupid things, but my movie wasn’t in 3D!”

Me: I’m sorry, ma’am. Which movie did you go see?”

Old woman: “I saw [movie only available in 3D] with my grandson and I didn’t have to use these things at all, not even once!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but since you sat through the whole movie, I can’t give you a refund. That movie is also extremely blurry if you don’t use the glasses we give you.”

Old woman: “But I didn’t use them at all and it looked just fine–just not 3D!”

(As she storms away angrily with a boy of about 5 in tow, she gets into her car and almost hits a young couple walking across the parking lot on her way out.)


I see a future Darwin award.

Water You, Stupid, Part 3
Pool | Greenburg, NY, USA | Extra Stupid
(Every year, there is one day in July where the pool lets everyone in, even if they don’t have a membership. I’m lifeguarding at the diving boards.)

Woman: “Excuse me, lifeguard. How deep is this pool?”

Me: “The diving tank is 13 and a half feet deep.”

(She looks at the water for a few seconds.)

Woman: “So, how does it work? Do you jump in and then, when you’re at the bottom, you just float back up?”

Me: “Um, no, you have to swim.”

Woman: “Oh, then this isn’t for me.”

(She walks away and tells her family the news. They leave disappointed.)


Hey, he's just being honest.

Man 1, Bag 0, Chivalry -1
home | Bellingham, WA, USA | Marriage
(It is late at night and I am trying to finish a project for work. My husband is “keeping me company” by playing a video game nearby. The last step is to put a label on the package. The labels are in a clear plastic bag, which I struggle to open, before giving up.)

Me: “Honey, can you open this for me?”

(My husband takes the bag, easily pops it open, and returns to his game. I finish my task.)

Me: “Honey, do you love me even though I’m not smarter than a plastic bag?”

Husband: “Darling, I love you because you are not smarter than a plastic bag.”


And here's a final bit of confusion. Is syzygy a real word or not? (Google spell check says no.) Click the word to find out. If it is a real word you will be rewarded with wonderful information. If not, terrible things will happen.