Tuesday, April 17, 2012

1861 - Dead duck and health care

Your Duck is Dead--

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.

After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away."

The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?" "Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the vet.

"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill. The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!"

The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150."

 

9 comments:

Bilbo said...

Once someone at Faux News reads this, they'll use it as the basis of a six-part special investigative report, citing it as yet another example of why health care costs have spiralled out of control under Obamacare. And at least six Congressional committees will schedule hearings on it. Thanks, Mike.

Banana Oil said...

Awww! That's a great joke.

Duckbutt said...

Great joke. Maybe if you really want costs out of control, they can extend burial insurance as well.

Amanda said...

HAR! HAR! HAR!

Elvis Wearing a Bra on His Head said...

Great joke. Typically a lot of tests fall under defensive medicine.

Mike said...

B - Maybe I'll get hired as a consultant for the source material.

BO - Yes it is.

D - Gold gilded mausoleums for everyone!

A - This was sort of a pun wasn't it?

E - It's a LOL joke.

Grand Crapaud said...

I enjoyed it.

eViL pOp TaRt said...

Did the duck die of shame from being called Cuddles?

Enjoyed the story.

Mike said...

GC - Good.

EPT - So your nick name isn't Cuddles, right?